Your illness

[wollie]

How long have you been depressed, do you know what triggered it and what drug if any helps you.

 

[Nukelavee]

Off and on, since 8th grade. Mostly "on" since my 20's.

Venlafaxine, Rexulti, and Mirtazpine help keep me moving, if not actually happy.

 

[Ozymandias]

My first vivid recollection of it goes back to when I was around 14, almost three decades ago... one Saturday afternoon, whilst walking to a football match with several friends - I can see it like it was yesterday - I felt this blackness come over me, a feeling that things would never be okay. Several years prior to that my BPD symptoms first began to manifest themselves, so I think the depression might well have been a consequence of coming to understand that my emotional reactivity was not temporary, and would greatly limit my life.

Venlafaxine takes the edge off of both the highs and the lows, but it has some unpleasant side effects and awful withdrawal symptoms... it's not a medication to be taken lightly.

 

[Nukelavee]

Venlafaxine takes the edge off of both the highs and the lows, but it has some unpleasant side effects and awful withdrawal symptoms... it's not a medication to be taken lightly.

If you don't mind me asking, what side effects do you get?

I agree about withdrawl from it - taking mine too late in the day makes for a miserable evening.

 

[Passionflower]

I have been depressed from a young age, but now find Sertraline 150mg keeps my mood stable

 

[karl7]

ive been suffering from depression since i was 16 probably even earlier

 

[wollie]

ive been suffering from depression since i was 16 probably even earlier

Do you mind me asking how old you are now and what meds you have been on.

 

[Ozymandias]

If you don't mind me asking, what side effects do you get?

I agree about withdrawl from it - taking mine too late in the day makes for a miserable evening.

I don't mind at all... I'm a pretty open book, so for future reference please don't hesitate to ask me anything. Bear in mind that my dosage is 375mg per day.

The main side-effects for me are:

* Libido suppression - I personally find this to be serendipitous, but I think most people feel the opposite way so I think it's right that I mention it.

* Mental tiredness - My 'psychological stamina' is greatly reduced.

* Brain fog - I find it a lot harder to concentrate, and to both focus and articulate my thinking.

Between the last two effects my intellectual capacity is greatly reduced, and my writing ability in particular. I came off of Venlafaxine when I went to university a decade ago specifically because I didn't think I'd be able to do myself justice if I remained on it... I couldn't concentrate as well, read for as long, or write as articulately as my unmedicated self was capable of.

* Reduced emotional range - These days I consider that to mostly be a good thing, but at times I kind of feel 'dead inside' and when I was younger I found this sufficiently distressing that I'd take myself off of the medication as a result (in my 20's I could come off of Venlafaxine and experience nothing worse than brain zaps for a day or two).

As for withdrawal... now is a good time to write about that, as I missed my dose last night and have spent most of today suffering for it! I experience very vivid dreams whilst sleeping - often nightmares one after the other - become both physically and mentally lethargic, and develop a left frontal lobe headache.

 

[Zero One]

Off and on since I was five...when I remember going to live with my mom for the first time, but she has pictures of me with her from when I was a toddler. Of course my father was there too. Trauma triggered it and I have not found a drug that helps me with it yet. Well maybe Latuda helped it. Wellbutrin helped me through it. Hydroxyzine sort of pushed it down...like curbing the sharp effects and strong presence of it. Haloperidol gave me a nervous feeling to repel me from it...like it was still there but I was too anxious to participate in it, I couldn't care I was so happy to have my mind. Loxapine made me too sleepy to make me even feel like I want to be bothered with it.

 

[karl7]

Do you mind me asking how old you are now and what meds you have been on.

im 44 now and am on 800mg quetiapine and 20mg olanzaopine for sz.....also i put pressure on my pdoc to precribe a tab for social anxiety but the one she gave me (sertraline) didnt work....ive been seeing a pdoc since i was 22, but really i should haev been seeing one since i was 12, i had alot of anger issues at that age

 

[Nukelavee]

* Libido suppression - I personally find this to be serendipitous, but I think most people feel the opposite way so I think it's right that I mention it.

Same here, and, for me, it's a plus as well.

I get a bit of the brain fog

Between the last two effects my intellectual capacity is greatly reduced, and my writing ability in particular.

I notice this in my writing ability as well.

The headache sounds exactly like the one I get, too.

I'm on 112.5 mg a day.

 

[JessisMe]

I have been depressed since I started menstruating as a young adult, so probably about thirty years...

 

[Zero One]

I have been depressed since I started menstruating as a young adult, so probably about thirty years...

I wonder if it's due to chemical changes in your body, then.

 

[RedYeti]

Only been seeing someone for it since January. I’ve had these feelings for years, talking to my counsellor made me understand them and that I may of had it since a kid, idk it’s just kind of always been there. My Docs got me on setraline, first time taking antidepressants

 

[AnxiousE]

Seriously, For as long as I can remember! I can recall feeling "off" even as a child. I don't know why or what triggered it or if it was just genetics. It is possible that the birth of my younger sister could have been the reason, it certainly contributed. I was the spoiled only child for almost 4 years and then she came and ruined it. (No fault of hers, and sadly she has depression too, but yeah. It was hard for me). But i can also recall just feeling sad for like no reason at all. Like just really weird!

Only in recent years have I been on medication. I tried Prozac at first. Don't remember why I was switched, but I am now on Zoloft since like 2018 (?) And it seems to be helping. In fact, I've actually felt great a few times for like the first time in my life! (Euphoria)