Yesterday was very hard

G

George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
258
#1
I think I met the depth of my emotional crisis and pain yesterday when I literally saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Still living with my parents at 26 yrs old and have not had a reasonable chance to actually move out because I've never been able to find a good job that pays enough, treats me with reasonable dignity, etc. Our house officially got put up yesterday and I found out we'd be moving in less then 2-months time, away from the house I moved into when I was just three. The thought of leaving always filled me with terror, leaving everything I've based my existence in. People don't know how hard that is for an individual like me and how I already have attachment issues, not to the house, but to everything here I know. On top of that, my dog died. I broke down in public and cried and at least twenty people say and in spite of my social anxiety I just didn't care. I also hurt my ankle badly running a mile race. I ran it way too hard and now it hurts to walk. I'm not much of a runner but I was so exhausted at the end my leg muscles were kind of paralyzed and I couldn't walk quite right for a few seconds after finishing. My throat was raspy from breathing too hard. I'm in bad shape because I've smoked for 5-years and have done my share of drugs. I still find it rewarding to push myself in exercise even though I have no right to brag about my mediocre mile times.

The thought of moving out of state so soon has given me a suffocating, hot sick feeling in my stomach that I can't describe, similar to what happened when I had my anxiety attacks. The thought of actually leaving literally made me feel physically ill. I have been planning to move out one day and still live in the current town and that wouldn't be so hard. To be respectful, I haven't expressed much concern about this to my parents because I don't want to seem like I'm getting in the way. All the while I've had a small glimmer of hope that I'd land on my feet in the next town and be able to survive and find my way, or that we would end up staying here. I heard that its still up in the air today and there's actually a chance we might not be leaving after all but I shan't get my hopes up yet. Life has taught me expect the very worst and prepare for it, while hoping for the best. Today has been better.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
31,002
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
#2
im so so sorry you are having a bad time ,im glad today was better
my heart goes out to you at the loss of your dog :hug: my dog is my world and i know i would be very unwell if anything happened to her

im hoping there are better times ahead for you and don't feel bad about living with your parents
i lived with my mummy in my 30s
love Lu x
 
G

gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
350
Location
Delaware, USA
#3
Hi my friend, I am really sorry to hear about your loss and all the change. Change has always been hard for me. My wife and I had our little gorgeous doggie for about 11 years until she passed away a little over a year ago. It was definitely hard on us both, but it will be OK. Just remember they live wonderful lives with us and all the good times they share with us and how much better their life was with you in it.

And yes, people live at home a lot longer these days, anxiety disorders or not, the financial difficulties are usually the reason, its very normal and hopefully your parents are understanding of this. Sometimes parents can be more toxic than helpful, so I'm not sure what your situation is, but just be aware of that.

I hope things setttle and get better for you!
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
64
Location
South Korea
#4
Well, I also live with my mother. I'm 28, and I'm without a job. I don't know where you're from, George10111, but where I'm from has horrible working conditions and little pay. Although I'm an American, high taxes led me here to survive, and it sucks. But I keep my ambitions and fight for it with all my might. Keep your hopes up. Your life's not over yet.
 

Similar threads