WTF? Am I going crazy?

[slayer9019]

Here is a bit of my story. I have gone to a shrink twice in my life when I was in middle school once and once in highschool. I have always been considered very smart and have done good for myself.....most of the time. When in highschool i visited the shrink and eventually got a semi-diagnostic of...bipolar/manic/add. I didnt believe him so i stop going.

I have always been a very happy person most of the time (manic??) even when times i guess i shouldnt be. I also go on long expensive, destructive binges (is that the word?) and go off racking up my credit cards, drinking excessively to blacking out, having lots of sex and getting in fights. This is where i got diagnosed.

All of that hasnt been that bad and manageable but recently i have been going under TONS AND TONS of stress and recently had a kinda melt down. Basically just went on a bender and just went nuts.....followed by some very serious depression and serious rage.

I dont know what the fuck to do so i schedualed a meeting with a shrink at school. I dont know if medication if offered would be good cause i like the way i am most of the time, and people love me.


WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!??!?! i feel like i am getting a little destructive to myself and possibly the people around. i sometomes done even have the energy to leave bed all day then other days i cant sleep and just have fun and am awesome.

was i diagnosted properly or am i just a normal person. HELP ME PLEASE!

 

[mizunderstood]

Hi Slayer, Hope you are ok. I've just read your thread and noticed that you have similar problems as me at the mo.

I dont know if you were diagnosed properly cos Im not to well up on diagnostics and symptoms as far as bipolar is concerned. However I just wanted to say that your behaviour is just like mine at the moment. A few wqeeks ago I was drinking myself into oblivion after a relationship breakdown and slowly self destriucting and insulting and causing my family and close relatives distress with my verbal abuse. I have since gone back on my medication of anti-psychotics (after 3 months off), and I hate to admit it but I do feel a lot better. I have stopped drinking stupidly and started smoking weed instead. Its the lesser of 2 evils. Unfortunately I keep taking wizz once a week and staying up for 3 days on end. (I have been up since 8am Tues) and have a major urge to be in another state of mind than my own. When I am on wizz I feel absolutely fantastic and wouldn't mind being like this all the time. I feel more myself on drugs than off them. The mental clarity I get from it is brilliant. I suprize myself sometimes. Ironically enough I feel a bit psychotic but because its self enduced and doesn't last I can handle it. Maybe you could go on meds short term until you feel better, then come off them slowly. You don't have to stay on them forever, just see em as a little pick me up in a time of need. I hate taking meds cos of side effects and have told the shrink that Im not prepared to take them unless they disgnose me with a specific condition - That way I will have a reason to take them. Im still on em at the moment though and am waiting for a referal to the CMHT to be assessed. Ive been on them 5 years and never has an assesment! Maybe thats what you need??...A re-assesment. Ask your shrink when you go. Remember you're not alone and at least your not taking drugs like me. (Im planning on stopping wizz after today - I'll see if I stick to it)