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Writing a note to therapist (might trigger, abuse)

MarlieeB

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Hi. I'm asking on the behalf of someone.

They want to write a note to their therapist about some sexual abuse they experienced when they were younger by a close family member.

Their sessions of CBT are ending soon and it hasn't been brought up even know the therapist knew there was something major that went on.

They can't find a way to actually say it out loud, it makes it more real for them so they were thinking of writing a letter.

What do you think?

Do you think they would be classed as attention seeking and making things up to get further sessions?

As you can imagine she is very scared about doing this but scared she will never get round to actually properly talking about it.
 
catkin

catkin

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Yes, write it, give it to the therapist. My experience with CBT is that it isn't ideal therapy for deep stuff/dealing with abuse but maybe others have different experience. Not attention seeking IMO.good luck xx
 
katya

katya

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Of course it's not bloody attention-seeking. It's a really positive step. Any way that person can cope with getting it out, I'm sure the therapist would be so proud of them for doing so.

Went through a similar thing and honestly the way your friend is feeling smacks of self-blame; anything that helps is good. Wish you the best of luck.
 
C

Christobel

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When things are worrying me between sessions with the psychiatrist I always write her a letter and she rings me back. I find it easier to write things down. I have also been a victim of CSA.
 
pepecat

pepecat

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I would say she should do it.

I did it several times, and it helped. A couple of times I took stuff I'd written with me, and the therapist read it out loud in the session (which was kinda cringy), and a couple of times I wrote letters and dropped them off at the therapy place in advance of the sessions, so she'd seen them by the time I got there.
She never minded, and said it was a brave thing to do.

If there is stuff that needs to be expressed (whether by talking or by writing), I'd say it's a risk worth taking. In a sense, what is there to lose? Your friend might get more sessions (win), or referred on somewhere else (win), or things might end when they're supposed to (no change). So there aren't really any negatives..... or at least that was the way I looked at it.
 
rubyrose

rubyrose

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I don't see anything wrong with writing a note to the therapist. If the person is more comfortable sharing that information in written form (which is totally understandable), I think that is how she should proceed. However she feels most comfortable starting the healing process is how I think she should go about it. No, I don't think the person would be classed as attention seeking or making things up to get more sessions. I'd hope the therapist would treat the issue and patient with sensitivity and compassion, not negative judgment. This is a sensitive matter and should be handled with care.
 

MarlieeB

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I think she is just worried that it might be seen as an attempt for her to get more sessions. She was slowly building herself up for it. Or they may say that instead she is unfit for any kinda of therapy.
 
Unique1

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Yes. She should write it.
I wrote a letter to my cbt therapist, she was fine with it. It helped.

X
 
katya

katya

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I think she is just worried that it might be seen as an attempt for her to get more sessions. She was slowly building herself up for it. Or they may say that instead she is unfit for any kinda of therapy.
I've been through that; they offered me CBT. Plus, they won't see it as a way to get more; if they can't offer it, they can't anyway. There's nothing to worry about. She should do it!
 
Unique1

Unique1

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I think she is just worried that it might be seen as an attempt for her to get more sessions. She was slowly building herself up for it. Or they may say that instead she is unfit for any kinda of therapy.
I was not suitable for cbt sessions in the end, but the cbt therapist referred me to phsycology.
It wasn't seen as an attempt to get more sessions by my therapist at all.
I hope she can get the help she needs.
I guess if it were me, I would kick myself for not giving a note in afterwards. X
 
pepecat

pepecat

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I think she is just worried that it might be seen as an attempt for her to get more sessions.
But if the therapist knows something major went on, maybe the therapist is waiting for your friend to 'talk' anyway..... and is aware time is running out, but doesn't want to push your friend.

Or they may say that instead she is unfit for any kinda of therapy.
Why would they say that? A disclosure of sexual abuse doesn't mean someone is unfit for therapy.

And as jruth said, if they can't offer more, then they can't offer more, and that's that. But they might be able to refer your friend on to somewhere else for more therapy.
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

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I can only repeat what the others said before; I agree it is a good idea, since this issue is an important one for this person.
Do you think they would be classed as attention seeking and making things up to get further sessions?
I understand these thoughts/fears, as I've had them myself in various occasions. When I had to talk about something difficult from my past/when I had to talk to GP to get referral for therapy. There was this fear that people wouldn't believe me, and would think I was a "fake" patient. It took a lot of time to accept the fact that the issues that were bothering me are important and real and that I deserve the help (and I'm still working on that to be honest).

I think she is just worried that it might be seen as an attempt for her to get more sessions. She was slowly building herself up for it. Or they may say that instead she is unfit for any kinda of therapy.
From what you say I understand that she would like more sessions in order to work through the sexual abuse? If so, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And my suggestion would be to ask for it, or for other options if this is not possible. That's a real issue and a valid one, and the fact that it's brought up at the end of the therapy doesn't mean it's a made-up thing. (Although, as I explained before, I understand the fear other people might look at it like that.).

I've often found that doctors/therapists were more understanding than I often imagined them to be. It is not always the case, but she should be I think if she's a decent one. My suggestion is to try and find the help she deserves.
 
ScaredCat

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Yes, write it down and give it to the therapist. I have done this on occasions when there was no way i could say it to my counsellor so i gave it to her and she read it. It is not attention seeking. Think she may regret it if she doesnt bring it up.
 
B

blessing05

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That is absolutely fine in writing a note to get help.
 

MarlieeB

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Things are all messed up, they keep on changing appointments and giving her assessments for social anxiety sessions in a group. Her appointment was cancelled for tomorrow and they wanted to ring her on Thursday but they are very aware that she can't speak on the phone. She also has a GP appointment so said no.

What game do you think they are playing?
 
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