- Jul 15, 2009
The voices are always there, lately they have been in the back ground, barely audible. I have been coping well because of this. I usually go through my day not worried about whats being said and focused on the here and now, what I am doing, whether at school or working or just hanging out with the kids. Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, one particular all so familiar bitchy, loud female voice, started to degrade me and my heart almost sank, I thought to myself here I go again, this could be bad. I decided right then and there I have to actively take control of the situation and I did. I really thought to myself I don't care what's being said I am not going to listen to it, and actively engaged my mind in thoughts about my day, about what I have to do in the morning, about how tired I am and how nice sleep would be, and before I knew it I was in dreamland, and today is ok not paying attention to the voices and at school with a good attitude. The split second before I made the conscious decision that I really didn't care what was being said and focused on my own thoughts, which was an active process, takes a little work but well worth it, but the split second before that, I tried to hear exactly what she was saying and she "the voice came in loud and clear" Voices loud and clear are not what I am wanting to focus on, especially mean, bitchy, unreasonable ones like that. I realize that engaging my mind and being able to concentrate on what I decide to concentrate on isn't always easy and it does take work, but it seems to be worth it, it takes practice and I got a ways to go, but looks like I am on my way.