Would it be selfish to ask my partner to quit his job?

W

Wishitaway

Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2017
Messages
13
#1
I have severe mental health problems. In 2018 I am as hospitalised 7 times. I have bpd, GAD, ptsd and depression.
My partner left his job and cared for me for a year but we finally decided for him to go back to work.

He enjoys his work very much but I am buckling under my workload. I have three young kids and I'm not very well right now. I can't do this, this is something I know. I'm not coping but to ask him to leave his job to care for me, is so very selfish. I don't know what to do anymore.
 
Hopeful313

Hopeful313

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 12, 2019
Messages
822
Location
Minnesota, USA
#2
I don’t think it’s selfish of you to do that. You are a family and that requires sacrifices sometimes. You are going through stressful times and that’s very understandable.

If he was going through stressful times, you’ll do the same. It’s all about helping and supporting each other.
 
MeropeneM

MeropeneM

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
208
#3
I have severe mental health problems. In 2018 I am as hospitalised 7 times. I have bpd, GAD, ptsd and depression.
My partner left his job and cared for me for a year but we finally decided for him to go back to work.

He enjoys his work very much but I am buckling under my workload. I have three young kids and I'm not very well right now. I can't do this, this is something I know. I'm not coping but to ask him to leave his job to care for me, is so very selfish. I don't know what to do anymore.
In the workaholic and overworked individual suffering from depression, a real specialist in psychiatry would recognize that an SNRI or SSRI antidepressant is simply not enough to suppress depression symptoms and enable the individual to continue his or her busy lifestyle.

Treatment resistance is often assumed and when the diagnosis is complicated by BPD or ADHD, the patient can be medicated with an amphetamine stimulant combined with an anti-psychotic or even an atypical anti-psychotic, as well as lamotrigine or Intuniv if a stimulant is used.

The doctor can be more aggressive with the treatment. It sounds like you got fkall for meds xD
 
W

Wishitaway

Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2017
Messages
13
#4
In the workaholic and overworked individual suffering from depression, a real specialist in psychiatry would recognize that an SNRI or SSRI antidepressant is simply not enough to suppress depression symptoms and enable the individual to continue his or her busy lifestyle.

Treatment resistance is often assumed and when the diagnosis is complicated by BPD or ADHD, the patient can be medicated with an amphetamine stimulant combined with an anti-psychotic or even an atypical anti-psychotic, as well as lamotrigine or Intuniv if a stimulant is used.

The doctor can be more aggressive with the treatment. It sounds like you got fkall for meds xD
I've had anti psychotics but they messed with my heart rhythm so they won't put me back on them.

I've never heard of a stimulant helping bpd but I'd love to know more, so will query the doctor.

Med wise, I'm not on much right now because the only med that hasn't had bad side effects for me is buspirone, so we're still trying out new ones.xx
 
W

Wishitaway

Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2017
Messages
13
#5
I don’t think it’s selfish of you to do that. You are a family and that requires sacrifices sometimes. You are going through stressful times and that’s very understandable.

If he was going through stressful times, you’ll do the same. It’s all about helping and supporting each other.
I feel so selfish, it's so incredibly hard to hold my hands up and say, I'm not coping.

I'd drop anything for him in a second but I hate doing this to him.
 
Hopeful313

Hopeful313

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 12, 2019
Messages
822
Location
Minnesota, USA
#6
I feel so selfish, it's so incredibly hard to hold my hands up and say, I'm not coping.

I'd drop anything for him in a second but I hate doing this to him.
The last thing you want to do at this time is to see yourself as guilty and the one to blame. What you’re going through is a temporary exception. Once you feel better, you can make up for all the things that were missed.

You are a very caring person and that’s why you feel burdened. You deserve to relax for sometime.
 
MeropeneM

MeropeneM

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
208
#7
I've had anti psychotics but they messed with my heart rhythm so they won't put me back on them.

I've never heard of a stimulant helping bpd but I'd love to know more, so will query the doctor.

Med wise, I'm not on much right now because the only med that hasn't had bad side effects for me is buspirone, so we're still trying out new ones.xx
And you are correct it is not usually prescribed and NEVER prescribed for BPD alone, it's always in combination with 2 or 3 other meds. Do you know in the hospital, sometimes in order to address a culprit in the patients blood, it's a lot easier to drain the blood and replace it with new blood.

The principle here is the same. What we want is to drain away the poor neurotransmitter situation that you have right now, and replace it with a flow of healthy neurotransmitters.

If you look into detail, the amphetamine increases dopamine, the anti-psychotic lowers dopamine. So you would think they cancel each other out but they don't. The amphetamine also increases central adrenaline, the Intuniv lowers central adrenaline in the alpha-2A receptor. Again you would think they cancel each other out, but they don't xD

What it actually does is it flushes away the fecal matter that's in your brain that makes you feel terrible and worn out, and replaces it with new, fresh, healthy neurotransmitters that make you feel ok and energetic and willing to achieve shit.

This can't be done with just the SSRI antidepressant because in most cases serotonin levels are ok, or, if they are low, it's only a consequence of a poor dopaminergic/adrenergic situation that lead to low serotonin levels in the first place.

I wouldn't try to understand this, if you do that's even better but just talk to your doctor about it.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
R Work, Money, Benefits, Housing and Education 12

Similar threads