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Worst day of my life

Halloween66

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2021
Messages
21
Location
USA
Hello, I really don't know why i'm posting my sad self pity story but I keep ending up in these terrible positions and it's scaring the hell out of me. Maybe I can re-read this before I ever try something so stupid again as throwing away my medications.

So I was switching medications >Under psychs orders< and I kinda got messed up in the head and flushed my medication. I had already been having a really bad track record with medication for years. I have really bad cognitive issues, it's kinda like that movie A Beautiful Mind, I just get totally fake and irrational thoughts out of nowhere and they are impossible to shake.

So on the third day after flushing my meds I have not slept the whole time but 2 hours just before posting this and I've just come back from the hospital after I went because i'm basically feeling psychotic as hell. The people were really nice and good to talk to but it's the same sort of thing that always happens to me.. I'm there, begging for help, with them basically saying okay bye..

They gave me refills for a week and called it into a pharmacy that isn't even open today, there was one that was but they assured me this one that isn't open was. Ugh!!
Kind of a joke the healthcare system, they cater only to those well enough to be treated, the ones like me just falls through the cracks and end up dead.

Anyways, can't get my meds until tommorow, and i'm currently in the middle of a panick attack. Happy thanksgiving! lol
 
G

GardenCat

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Hi, I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that in the moment when you needed help. I hope you managed to get your re-fill by now and that you are feeling better. It must be difficult to deal with taking medication. Did you find a system that works for you,? maybe something to hold you accountable and also help you see the progress? Pill box with week days helped me see that "it is going somewhere" because I was able to see that I managed to take a full week of medication at the endnof the week, and it gave me a feeling og accomplishment. I hope you can find a system that works for you.
and one more time, I'm sooooo sorry you had to deal with the medical system in a moment of struggle. It's difficult enough to deal with them on a good day.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
7,581
Location
A comet
I'm sorry to read about your experience and medication. I hope it all will be ok.
 
Bluejay7500

Bluejay7500

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
6,984
Location
planet earth
Sounds awful! I hope you got your meds and got back on track. I’ve flushed a lot of stuff, notes, alcohol, cigarettes, my meds, all stemming from my paranoia and delusions. I liked the way you put the idea of delusions. That they are thoughts trapped in our head and we can’t get them out. Very cool.
 
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