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Worst avoidant behaviour

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firemonkee57

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Mar 23, 2009
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8,235
My worst avoidant behaviour will be paying nearly £140 for a return journey to my sister's when i go to her place to see my father when he comes over from the States. It's because i can't cope with getting to her place by train and then London cab. The one time i tried on my own i got taken round the houses by a cab driver who either didn't hear the destination properly or did and was just exploiting me. By the time i got to my sister's i was extremely anxious Usually my brother does the journey with me but he has not spoken to me for nearly 3 months.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
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The West Country
I'm always doing this sort of thing, can't possibly pick the worst really.

I frequently hide in my flat until I can't hear any of my neighbours outside before I go out anywhere.
I also drive and park outside of the library that's literally up the road from me.. just in case I see some guy who totally broke my heart (who lives adjacent to it) - if my car's there, I have a quick get away.
Actually, my car plays a big role in avoidance. I've driven around the block to avoid seeing an aggressive neighbour.

Yeah, I think and plan ahead way to much...

It's a pity that it costs you that much FM. Travelling (long distance i.e. not just to the shops) is very anxiety provoking for me too. x
 
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firemonkee57

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Mar 23, 2009
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My father used to come to my flat but then i think my step mum got iffy about coming to a council high rise. That started after my wife died. I see him for roughly 8 hours about once a year and that is shared with my brother/sister/nieces/brother in law etc. At least when i saw him at my flat it was just my wife and i. He sees my sister several times during his visits over from the States.
I guess i am a bit resentful still that he sold the family home when i was at a low ebb to take up a diplomatic post in the States and decided to retire there nearly 30 years ago.
 
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archeryaddict

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Apr 1, 2014
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291
I live in a house of 8 students. I'm in the room by the front door, and have been known to sit with my curtains drawn, door locked and lights off to pretend I'm out so they wouldn't knock on my door. I've done it with a friend around before amd sat in silence until my housemates went out for the evening (they were all drinking) they thought I was crazy.
 
pepecat

pepecat

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Jul 19, 2010
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middle earth
I've turned the tv down and not answered the door before, pulled the curtains and hidden from the window cleaner so he couldn't see I was in. Have crossed the road to avoid talking to people, dawdled in shops so I didn't have to leave the same time as people I knew and talk to them.
I soemtimes agree to do things - like go out for a drink with people informally - and then don't go because I feel uncomfortable. The worst one was a trip to vienna that i had booked, and then cancelled at the last minute for some feeble reason......
 
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firemonkee57

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Mar 23, 2009
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I don't know that many people to avoid and living in a high rise flat you get your privacy at the expense of being more isolated. If someone says 'hello' in passing i'll respond but i won't make the initial greeting.
Travel -fear of stepping outside familiar territory and getting lost and trapped- is a major avoidance issue with me. Not helped by a poor sense of direction .
When it comes to people and avoidance/social anxiety paranoia is a strong factor. Over 40 years on my default position is to see people as the teenage peers who verbally bullied me for being physically and socially awkward.
I am not sure whether it would be called 'ideas of reference' but i have strong feelings that i give off signs of abnormality that people pick up on. The kind of things that got me bullied all those years ago.
The antipsychotic while helpful moderately in some respects is basically useless when it comes to paranoia<----------> social anxiety and chronic difficulty with social interaction side of things.

I know there are drugs for anxiety but the one and only time i was offered anything it was largactil to go with the atypical i was taking and i refused. The pdocs attitude seems to be that it's expected with paranoia so just get on with it.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
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The West Country
I know I shouldn't laugh, but it did have a relieved chuckle to know i'm not the only one who pretends not to be in. What are we all like? :rolleyes: :LOL:


I have a neighbour who rings my buzzer, only to ask me to let her in. She's elderly and not a very nice woman.. I presume she's just too idle to identify the correct key in her bunch or that she can't see very well.
One time I ignored her because I was anxious and agitated, and just knew I would tell her to fuck off.
The next day she had the audacity to say "I rang your buzzer and you didn't answer. I know you were in because your car was outside".

I did very well not to tell her to mind her own business and to get lost.. I just told her I was probably in the toilet. Cheeky, stuck-up cow. x
 
coldwater00

coldwater00

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Jun 19, 2013
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3,372
Location
Yorkshire
Have taken a long detour round town when I've spied someone i know and didn't want to talk to.

Have taken taxis into town when I should have got the bus just because I couldn't face walking down a busy road.

The worst one - and I'm actually ashamed to say this, was when I was living in university accommodation and I had to share a bathroom with 5 other people. I was really ill at this point and barely left my room so I would wee in my bin and then pour it down the sink so I didn't have to use the bathroom.
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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Feb 11, 2013
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under the Forum Troll bridge
I never answer my buzzer unless I am expecting someone. I read with the small light on so no one can see I'm in. Sometimes I eat in the dark but it's a bit difficult to cook in the dark. I would love to have the Harry Potter cloak of invisibility so I could go about my business and not be seen
 
Pobs Sister

Pobs Sister

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Mar 31, 2014
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99
Omg I am relieved I am not alone.

I only go out of my flat a few hours once a week even emptying my bin is hard!


my mum gave me a little picture, on it is said

'life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'

This kinda rings true lol :whistle:
 
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