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Worse than ever

O

Obessionfromwithin

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2014
Messages
15
Location
N somerset
I'm sorry to bother you with my issues but I need to vent somewhere.
I am currently extremely suicidal to the point where the crisis team have mentioned admission several occasions. I have been like this for over 3 weeks now it's just getting worse to point where I don't think I can't survive any longer, usually by now I would done something (and failed because I am no good at trying to kill myself) and started to feel a bit better.
I was referred to the crisis team by a primary counsellor who clear couldn't deal with my issues who told me to be patient with the team as they won't know me and how I react blah blah blah..... Well 3 weeks later I am at the point where I am so desperate for help but I might discharge myself from the IST as i don't feel like they can help me all they keep saying is what help do you want/ what will help you? And when I try and explain I don't know I get met we vary responses some are understanding but the major are like how can we help without your help.. Why can't they understand that if I knew how to help myself I would need them to help me. I have been give techniques to try which I can't seem to get to work and they can not understand this and think I'm not trying even though I have explained several times that they don't work for me, I am just told told to try again or keep practicing especially if I'm not in 'distress' which would be hard Considering feeling this is a constant and they are aware if this.
I also had such a horrendous session with on woman that I left feeling 10x worse than when I went, I mean how some people get job in mental health I don't understand. But I was that bad that I have refused to see anyone since. They have told me I can refuse to work said individual but cant understand the damage this woman has done.
I have tried explaining several times that I feels this way since Thursday and that I don't feel that it is beneficially because I feel worse every day, and they are supposed to be helping me feel better. All they keep responding with will it not going to happening over night and we can't force you to work with us and they going to call me Tuesday so I can think about wether or not I want to discharge myself from the team.

The problem I am so desperate for help and they are they only help that is available. And if I don't get help I will be dead in the next month and I have a child who I need to survive for, how I can I force myself to stay when I am desperate to die.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hi, I've just stumbled across this thread, although I did read your other thread a couple of days ago, and just wondered how you are feeling now? I hope you're feeling better than you were when you posted the above.
 
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