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Worse it's been in years

R

rosequilt

New member
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
3
Location
United Stated
For a while now, I've questioned if I suffer from SAD. It seems almost ever year, as soon as the time changes in the fall, my mood starts to diminish. It's like I get a glaze or film over my eyes, a shadow comes over me, I become exhausted but experience insomnia, my anxiety ramps up because of these feelings, I start to worry more, things start to become too intense, and I feel out of place. I can usually push through, but this year I'm haunted by suicidal thoughts. I want to stress that I do not want to kill myself, however these thoughts are comforting. They make the pain more bearable because they make me feel I have control over my suffering. "If things get bad enough, I can do this", "It's okay if you feel horrible right now, just remember you have this option", "I feel like I want to give up, but I must make it through, but just in case, I know I have a way out".

I know these thoughts are very unhealthy and downright harmful to my well being, but I visit them often when I feel there is no way out, when I just need to distance myself from the pain. I have no intention of acting on these thoughts. I've reached out to multiple mental health professionals and I'm waiting to hear back to schedule an appointment. I just wanted to get this out, and hopefully bring comfort to anyone else going through this. You're not alone. It feels bad now, but it will get better. Once the time changes again and the days are longer, I know I will feel better. Hopefully you will too.
 
J

Jrchmn

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 17, 2018
Messages
76
That sounds like SAD although there are several physical conditions which would make the sad more severe or cause similar symptoms. In you’re position I’d start taking a good multi vitamin and get my thyroid levels tested. It sounds like you’re in America and that the sleep problems are the worst. I’d go and by some melatonin, make sure I didn’t eat after 7pm stop any screen use after 8pm physically stay out of bed until I felt tired and try progressive relaxation once in bed. Also if you don’t fall asleep with in 30 min get up and out of your bedroom and do something.
usually I only have insomnia like that in the summer if it occurs in autumn/winter it usually means stress. Once I’ve broken the no sleep cycle I’m fitter to get more work done and therefore reduce the stress. Good luck
 
M

Marianda

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
924
Location
South America
@rosequilt i suffer from depression and anxiety and I feel that sun helps me.

Unfortunately summer does not cure me totally. I still feel depressed but the sun gives me a sense of hope.
I understand you suicide thoughts, I never attempted killing myself but I feel mentally relieved that the option is there. I think of suicide very often, but just as a last resource, an option. I really undetstand you when you talk about suicide.

I am a fighter, I fought all my life and I am not going to kill myself before burning all bridges. Really I hope i never get to that point.
 
M

metoo

Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Minnesota
For a while now, I've questioned if I suffer from SAD. It seems almost ever year, as soon as the time changes in the fall, my mood starts to diminish. It's like I get a glaze or film over my eyes, a shadow comes over me, I become exhausted but experience insomnia, my anxiety ramps up because of these feelings, I start to worry more, things start to become too intense, and I feel out of place. I can usually push through, but this year I'm haunted by suicidal thoughts. I want to stress that I do not want to kill myself, however these thoughts are comforting. They make the pain more bearable because they make me feel I have control over my suffering. "If things get bad enough, I can do this", "It's okay if you feel horrible right now, just remember you have this option", "I feel like I want to give up, but I must make it through, but just in case, I know I have a way out".

I know these thoughts are very unhealthy and downright harmful to my well being, but I visit them often when I feel there is no way out, when I just need to distance myself from the pain. I have no intention of acting on these thoughts. I've reached out to multiple mental health professionals and I'm waiting to hear back to schedule an appointment. I just wanted to get this out, and hopefully bring comfort to anyone else going through this. You're not alone. It feels bad now, but it will get better. Once the time changes again and the days are longer, I know I will feel better. Hopefully you will too.
I feel exactly the same. Worse leading up to holidays. Overwhelmed with what needs to be done. Although, I always get through. Things others think I need to do, but Ifeel exhausted. Summer in MN is busy too. But the weather is so much nicer. I just hate being cold. We are retired, but husband will not move. He does understand, and try’s to help. I feel is all on me. Spring is coming, hold the thought. My SAD light and VD does help. Take care.
 
M

metoo

Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Minnesota
That sounds like SAD although there are several physical conditions which would make the sad more severe or cause similar symptoms. In you’re position I’d start taking a good multi vitamin and get my thyroid levels tested. It sounds like you’re in America and that the sleep problems are the worst. I’d go and by some melatonin, make sure I didn’t eat after 7pm stop any screen use after 8pm physically stay out of bed until I felt tired and try progressive relaxation once in bed. Also if you don’t fall asleep with in 30 min get up and out of your bedroom and do something.
usually I only have insomnia like that in the summer if it occurs in autumn/winter it usually means stress. Once I’ve broken the no sleep cycle I’m fitter to get more work done and therefore reduce the stress. Good luck
 
M

metoo

Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Minnesota
That sounds like SAD although there are several physical conditions which would make the sad more severe or cause similar symptoms. In you’re position I’d start taking a good multi vitamin and get my thyroid levels tested. It sounds like you’re in America and that the sleep problems are the worst. I’d go and by some melatonin, make sure I didn’t eat after 7pm stop any screen use after 8pm physically stay out of bed until I felt tired and try progressive relaxation once in bed. Also if you don’t fall asleep with in 30 min get up and out of your bedroom and do something.
usually I only have insomnia like that in the summer if it occurs in autumn/winter it usually means stress. Once I’ve broken the no sleep cycle I’m fitter to get more work done and therefore reduce the stress. Good luck
so true. I suffer from hypothyroidism, and doc and I disagree at what level of meds I feel better. I also has arthritis which in winter months is more painful. Both of these conditions are pledging both my mom and sisters for years. Has to be hereditary, no matter what the physicians say. Have to be your own advocate, you know your body and how you feel.
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
53,252
Location
Lancashire
AS metoo mentioned, you can get a SAD light box which really helps people.
 
J

Jrchmn

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 17, 2018
Messages
76
@metoo I have trouble converting T4 to T3. I find supplements particularly zinc and selenium make a positive difference. Also taking my hormone on an empty stomach and not having anything with calcium in it till an hour or more latter makes a huge difference.
 
J

Jrchmn

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 17, 2018
Messages
76
@calypso I suspect I wouldn’t be able to work etc with out my light boxes. They’re so much cheaper now and so many places sell them.
 
A

Alfred Mountain

Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Messages
7
Location
united kingdom
For a while now, I've questioned if I suffer from SAD. It seems almost ever year, as soon as the time changes in the fall, my mood starts to diminish. It's like I get a glaze or film over my eyes, a shadow comes over me, I become exhausted but experience insomnia, my anxiety ramps up because of these feelings, I start to worry more, things start to become too intense, and I feel out of place. I can usually push through, but this year I'm haunted by suicidal thoughts. I want to stress that I do not want to kill myself, however these thoughts are comforting. They make the pain more bearable because they make me feel I have control over my suffering. "If things get bad enough, I can do this", "It's okay if you feel horrible right now, just remember you have this option", "I feel like I want to give up, but I must make it through, but just in case, I know I have a way out".
Same here, I usually feel pretty crappy about myself at this time of year but this year feels like a whole new world of darkness. How old are you if you don't mind my asking? I'm 32 and I'm wondering if the reason for this years mega-low is anything to do with age.
 
P

purpleorchid

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 11, 2017
Messages
68
This winter period has been awful for me, i barely see the sun and been feeling (even more) rubbish since September, i literally feel like the life has been sucked out of me
 
M

Marianda

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
924
Location
South America
This winter period has been awful for me, i barely see the sun and been feeling (even more) rubbish since September, i literally feel like the life has been sucked out of me
I can understand that perfectly well, the lack of sun throws me into terrible depressions. Nothing more ugly than those gray days...
 
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