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Worried to confess recent SH my bf

DwarfRabbit

DwarfRabbit

Active member
Joined
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
32
Location
Germany
I started to SH when I was 16.
I did it every day and several times a day. It became routine.
It got better when I was admitted to the clinic when I was 17. I stopped for three years, even if a few "slip-ups" came through in between.

I still feel the urge to SH sometimes. The problem is that I started to SH this week again. It was rash. I haven't thought about that my bf could see it (we're together for a year). Now, this is my problem.

I'm afraid he will find out and he could find out if we get intimate. I don't want to put a burden on him. I thought of not seeing him for several weeks so the injury would heal.

I don't know what to do about it. I feel so bad. He was glad that I stopped. Should I tell him and how should I tell him?
 
Bod

Bod

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Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,848
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Pretty Good
Hello DwarfRabbit, I am sorry that you choose to SH and starting at such an early age to like I did and I carried on for many years too sadly. Then I got the help I needed when I was 40 and I am now 60 and have not SH in 20 years as in the help I got the therapist and I worked out WHY I SH and then we sorted out everything in my life. Can you maybe talk to a doctor or GP about it as they can help plus if your boyfriend really does love you then he might well help you if you tell him.
 
B

bofbof

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Joined
Mar 29, 2020
Messages
40
Location
Abidjan
Hi DwarfRabbit, I am truly sorry for you. I am gonna be honest with you . I have never been in a relationship despite bein 19 but i will try to give some piece of advice. If you truly want to have a healthy realionship, I think u should tell him.
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

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Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
4,809
Location
California
I started to SH when I was 16.
I did it every day and several times a day. It became routine.
It got better when I was admitted to the clinic when I was 17. I stopped for three years, even if a few "slip-ups" came through in between.

I still feel the urge to SH sometimes. The problem is that I started to SH this week again. It was rash. I haven't thought about that my bf could see it (we're together for a year). Now, this is my problem.

I'm afraid he will find out and he could find out if we get intimate. I don't want to put a burden on him. I thought of not seeing him for several weeks so the injury would heal.

I don't know what to do about it. I feel so bad. He was glad that I stopped. Should I tell him and how should I tell him?
Hi, I am sorry you are going through this. I didn't stay away from my husband when we were dating. I tried to hide it, but he saw as he asked why one day when we were having lunch. I had on long black sleeves. He took my hands and intentionally pushed up the sleeves but his eyes were kind and he was kind and concerned and my fear lessened. I was in therapy at the time and he stood by me and helped without being overwhelming. Shared helpful books and treated me well. We got married 2 years later.
I feel hesitant to give advice but sharing I hope helps. All the best to you and your boyfriend. 💗
 
DwarfRabbit

DwarfRabbit

Active member
Joined
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
32
Location
Germany
Hi DwarfRabbit, I am truly sorry for you. I am gonna be honest with you . I have never been in a relationship despite bein 19 but i will try to give some piece of advice. If you truly want to have a healthy realionship, I think u should tell him.
Don't worry. Some people in their twenties have never been in a relationship. I was 18 when I got in my first relationship and it was him.

And I told him on Wednesday!
 
DwarfRabbit

DwarfRabbit

Active member
Joined
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
32
Location
Germany
Hi, I am sorry you are going through this. I didn't stay away from my husband when we were dating. I tried to hide it, but he saw as he asked why one day when we were having lunch. I had on long black sleeves. He took my hands and intentionally pushed up the sleeves but his eyes were kind and he was kind and concerned and my fear lessened. I was in therapy at the time and he stood by me and helped without being overwhelming. Shared helpful books and treated me well. We got married 2 years later.
I feel hesitant to give advice but sharing I hope helps. All the best to you and your boyfriend. 💗
Thank you for sharing. I'm happy for you that your husband reacted so well!

Well, I told my bf on Wednesday... He said that he don't know how to react but he thinks it's a good thing i told my therapist. He would be glad if I stop but he said he could imagine that it's easier said than done. He also said that it was good that I told him.

I still don't know how to feel about it...
Even if he assured me that he was not angry or judged me. 😔
 
DwarfRabbit

DwarfRabbit

Active member
Joined
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
32
Location
Germany
Hello DwarfRabbit, I am sorry that you choose to SH and starting at such an early age to like I did and I carried on for many years too sadly. Then I got the help I needed when I was 40 and I am now 60 and have not SH in 20 years as in the help I got the therapist and I worked out WHY I SH and then we sorted out everything in my life. Can you maybe talk to a doctor or GP about it as they can help plus if your boyfriend really does love you then he might well help you if you tell him.
It's good that you didn't SH for so many years! This is amazing!

Yeah, I told him recently. He said to me he would like to help but didn't know how.

It's still a strange feeling...
I feel like I'm overwhelming him because he said he don't know how to react... 😔
 
Bod

Bod

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,848
Location
Pretty Good
It's good that you didn't SH for so many years! This is amazing!

Yeah, I told him recently. He said to me he would like to help but didn't know how.

It's still a strange feeling...
I feel like I'm overwhelming him because he said he don't know how to react... 😔
If he really loves you, he will be there for you.
 

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