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Worried about son... what does this sound like to you? PLEASE HELP!

L

lovingmom

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Sep 11, 2015
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My son is 19-years-old. My husband and I are very loving parents... we have always been there for our son, very supportive and always very proud of him. He is very talented and smart. When he was little, he was a very happy boy, always singing and playing games. At about the age of 12, he started to be quiet and didn't talk to us as much as he used to, but we chalked that up to typical teen behavior. Middle school was normal. In high school, he had friends and was very active. He started college last year and did well academically. He seemed to like his suite mates and told us that he liked school many times.

In July, he shocked us by telling us that he didn't want to go back to college and that he didn't like the school at all. He said that college is not worth it because people get into debt and don't really get the jobs they want anyway. He is convinced that the economy is going to collapse and that life will be horrible. He said that there aren't "any options" except to be a "debt slave" and work for a corporation. He is reading and watching a lot of fear mongerers on the internet and seems to be convinced they are right. He believes a lot of the propaganda they are saying.

He also believes that most people are superficial and don't want to get to know him. However, he also doesn't reach out to people who reach out to him. He has become EXTREMELY critical and thinks that everyone is not as smart as he is.

He now he becomes angry very easily. He seems very detached to me and my husband and treats us as if we were no one of importance. He rarely talks to people and is very unfriendly. He doesn't seem to have empathy either.

He has been seeing a therapist and went to a psychiatrist that put him on zoloft. He refused to take it and continues to be miserable. We even went on vacation to a Caribbean island and he stayed in the room the entire time except to go to the gym and to dinner with us. While at dinner, he barely made any conversation with us.

When we returned we told him that he could either return to school or get a full-time job. He chose to return to school but quickly started to complain that the professors were stupid and incompetent. I tried to reason with him after his therapist told me that he didn't seem to be improving. After months of walking on eggshells, I had a major argument with him after he started calling me very mean and crude names and was extremely disrespectful. I told him that he should leave school and that we would not pay for it. I told him he had one week to find a job and leave the house. He quickly changed his tune and said he would stay in school and find new classes. He also said that he would take the medication. But, I really don't know what will happen.

I'm not sure if he is bipolar (he thinks he is smarter than everyone). He doesn't seem to be manic. I'm not sure what to think!! What do you think? Any advise?? Help!! Thank you so much for your help:)
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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Location
small town Ontario, Canada
Sorry your going through this with your son, not sure what to say other than he definately wouldn't be the first teen to become rebellious towards you and change his mind mid way through school. I would be worried about him isolating at this age more than anything else personally. The tough love approach never worked for me with my three boys, but I did end up making them move out early as they would neither work nor attend school. Being on their own was a big wake up call for them and they were angry for a few years but they did come around and come back on their own to communicating and respecting and loving me as mum. As far as whether he has bipolar issues or not, no one here can say nor is qualified to do so from limited information posted on an open forum. Only the psychiatrist can diagnose him and if he is considered an adult unless he signs for you to be involved in his care, he doesn't have to tell you unfortunately what his diagnosis or meds are.

Hopefully someone can give you some good advice as we need support as well parenting troubled teens and family/friends isn't always the best place to go for this type of advice. It's been a while since my boys were teens and two sons are back living with me with serious mh issues. My other son went on to finish college and has set himself up quite well where he's living. Although he rarely communicates with me, just knowing he is doing so well is enough for me to know he is well and doing fine and that's all we want for any of our kids really. I just send him notes saying I still love him and will always be his mum if he ever needs me. I miss him but know that sending him away to live was the right decision at the time.
It's definately frustrating for us as parents especially when they are still living at home.
I wonder why they put him on zoloft? Was is for anxiety and depression?
 
S

shorty

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188
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Third rock from the sun
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