N
notrealname
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- May 4, 2009
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Hi, I have been diagnosed with bipolar quite low on the spectrum. They say somewhere between Cyclothymia and Bipolar II (because I've suffered from severe depression and what they think might be mixed episodes). I'm not sure they've got it right. My GP made a preliminary diagnosis after talking to me for 10 minutes and a psychiatrist later made the proper diagnosis.
The thing is, I don't feel like I've been talked to enough. The only person that's heard me talk properly for a significant amount of time is a psychotherapist that I saw before the psychiatrist. He didn't think I was bipolar. I just have no idea what's brought the diagnosis about. My Mam says she can tell how I'm going to feel in a few weeks by how I'm behaving but my Mam has thought she's psychic in the past so I'm not convinced by her.
Otherwise it was because I was feeling optimistic for a while then feeling very pessimistic for a while and repeat. I've had times where everything around me suddenly looks, smells and feels amazing and I feel blissfully happy (like being on drugs) but this only lasts half a day at most. A couple of times when this has happened I've felt more like I'm going mad than that I'm enjoying it (that's why they said mixed episode). Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are racing but this feels more like the product of stress to me. I often feel very unhappy and I also often feel very embarrassed but I can't think of anything that I'm embarrassed about (it's just like a phantom feeling).
Is this REALLY enough to diagnose bipolar? Does anybody else recognise my symptoms?
Thanks very much for your help.
Oops...just remembered some other stuff I wanted to add. The diagnosis was also made on me getting "high" (sometimes uncomfortably so) on SSRIs before quickly dipping back down into depression after a couple of months. It was also because I sometimes don't sleep for long periods of time. Looking back through diaries I've found out that the times I felt I was being "very optimistic" I was describing feeling depressed in practically the next sentence (though I remember being happy, I seem to have forgotten feeling depressed at points) so I don't know if me being "very optimistic" is necessarily true.
I don't take risks, splurge on alcohol/shopping/drugs, become overly sociable, become promiscuous, do inappropriate things (though occasionally "go for shock" and say inappropriate things).
Do get very obsessive though for relatively short periods then feel embarrassed about it. Don't know if this is related.
Sorry for what is now a massive post!!!
The thing is, I don't feel like I've been talked to enough. The only person that's heard me talk properly for a significant amount of time is a psychotherapist that I saw before the psychiatrist. He didn't think I was bipolar. I just have no idea what's brought the diagnosis about. My Mam says she can tell how I'm going to feel in a few weeks by how I'm behaving but my Mam has thought she's psychic in the past so I'm not convinced by her.
Otherwise it was because I was feeling optimistic for a while then feeling very pessimistic for a while and repeat. I've had times where everything around me suddenly looks, smells and feels amazing and I feel blissfully happy (like being on drugs) but this only lasts half a day at most. A couple of times when this has happened I've felt more like I'm going mad than that I'm enjoying it (that's why they said mixed episode). Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are racing but this feels more like the product of stress to me. I often feel very unhappy and I also often feel very embarrassed but I can't think of anything that I'm embarrassed about (it's just like a phantom feeling).
Is this REALLY enough to diagnose bipolar? Does anybody else recognise my symptoms?
Thanks very much for your help.
Oops...just remembered some other stuff I wanted to add. The diagnosis was also made on me getting "high" (sometimes uncomfortably so) on SSRIs before quickly dipping back down into depression after a couple of months. It was also because I sometimes don't sleep for long periods of time. Looking back through diaries I've found out that the times I felt I was being "very optimistic" I was describing feeling depressed in practically the next sentence (though I remember being happy, I seem to have forgotten feeling depressed at points) so I don't know if me being "very optimistic" is necessarily true.
I don't take risks, splurge on alcohol/shopping/drugs, become overly sociable, become promiscuous, do inappropriate things (though occasionally "go for shock" and say inappropriate things).
Do get very obsessive though for relatively short periods then feel embarrassed about it. Don't know if this is related.
Sorry for what is now a massive post!!!
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