ellamental
Well-known member
Founding Member
Worried about a good friend of mine who is having an affair with a married man. They both have mental health problems and are very supportive of each other, are very in love with each other and are alike in many ways. She is separated (although she was seeing him before this) and he is at home with his wife. They both have children. He has talked about leaving and they have been seeing each other for over a year now. She understands that it is difficult when there are so many people to consider. We looked up 'married men never leave' on the internet and the stuff that came back made her feel very bad. I worry that he will never leave, that he is sleeping with both his wife and C although he says this is not the case and that if they part her mental health will suffer again. One person on the net wrote that they met before he left but that he wasn't pleased with the way the realtionship started out but the statement that married men never leave isn't true or there would not be second wives. She knows what she has done and how repsonisble for how much of it she is. Until recently he has said that he would not be staying in the marriage regardless of her but now has reconsidered because he feels leaving while he has such severe mental health problems might not be wise and that it would damage his children. I do not know what to say to her. She adores him. He adores her. I know them both and feel that a large amount of his problems with depression would be alleviated if he did leave but this he has to work out himself and possibly without the added complication and pressure of C. Has anyone been in a similar situation and what was the outcome, what should I/should not say? 
