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worried about friends having affair

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ellamental

ellamental

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Worried about a good friend of mine who is having an affair with a married man. They both have mental health problems and are very supportive of each other, are very in love with each other and are alike in many ways. She is separated (although she was seeing him before this) and he is at home with his wife. They both have children. He has talked about leaving and they have been seeing each other for over a year now. She understands that it is difficult when there are so many people to consider. We looked up 'married men never leave' on the internet and the stuff that came back made her feel very bad. I worry that he will never leave, that he is sleeping with both his wife and C although he says this is not the case and that if they part her mental health will suffer again. One person on the net wrote that they met before he left but that he wasn't pleased with the way the realtionship started out but the statement that married men never leave isn't true or there would not be second wives. She knows what she has done and how repsonisble for how much of it she is. Until recently he has said that he would not be staying in the marriage regardless of her but now has reconsidered because he feels leaving while he has such severe mental health problems might not be wise and that it would damage his children. I do not know what to say to her. She adores him. He adores her. I know them both and feel that a large amount of his problems with depression would be alleviated if he did leave but this he has to work out himself and possibly without the added complication and pressure of C. Has anyone been in a similar situation and what was the outcome, what should I/should not say? :confused:
 
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Dollit

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Married men very rarely leave their wives for their mistresses and if they do it's usually because they've been caught out. The married men I've know that have had affairs and promised they're not sleeping with their wives have been known to go on and have more kids with their wives. And if he does leave his wife and go to live with your friend how could she ever trust him, does she really think that he's going to change?

Been on both sides of this fence as the wife and the mistress and believe me, neither are any fun.
 
ellamental

ellamental

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scrambled egg heads

Hi there lovely Dollit:)
thanks for that, thought you might say something along those lines. Not an easy one but she will work it out one way or the other...love, life and scrambled egg heads is all a bit much sometimes isnt it!
Ella:)
 
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Dollit

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Unfortunately Ella it's one of those situations you can only learn from when you have the experience. Everyone thinks it's going to be different for them and it rarely is.

When you're vulnerable and you want to be loved it's an easy mistake to make. I think this is probably the real reason why I'm still single so long after splitting up with my last.

Just be there when she needs you and I'm sure you'll be the friend she needs.
 
Fedup

Fedup

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The saying a leopard never change's it's spot's come's to mind.
 
Aahbut

Aahbut

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It's very simple, all men are b*****ds. And I should know :LOL:
 
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