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Worried about absolutely everything

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owlturtle

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Feb 3, 2015
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I'm in a good relationship, I've had no reason to mistrust my partner but in the past I've been cheated on and left for a 'better model' by my previous long term relationship. I'm constantly worried that I'm not in the right relationship because we don't agree on little things like: I want a cat, he doesn't, I think I might want children but I'm scared he won't, I want to get married at some point but again I'm worried that he won't. These are simple communications which I know when and if ive asked him i'd get an answer to settle my mind but then I worry 'what if he changes his mind, and I'm left on the shelf, alone, childless and unwanted and it's too late for me to find another person to love me'.

I'm so scared about being left on my own in the future that i'm worrying about the here and now. I'm perfectly happy in the moment, but when I'm thinking I over think and tiny things go huge in my head, then I get really anxious.

I don't know how to get over this. I'm constantly worried about my career, or lack of it to be exact. I'm 27 this year and I've not completed my degree, I can't find a decent job and I keep getting rejected for every job I apply to. In the last year I've been rejected by over 200 employers and I'm so tired of it all.

These things are waring me down and I don't know what to do. I rationally know its all in my head and job wise i'm just unlucky and something should happen soon, but I can't deal with it at the moment. I'm not sleeping properly, I'm emotionally eating and then feeling worse about myself because I'm adding the fact of being overweight into the situation too.

Can anyone suggest anything to ease these anxieties please?
 
bulbie

bulbie

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Communication is key with your partner. You need to settle for MORE than just his standard peace making replies; make it clear how you feel when he gives you these answers. It also sounds like a good time to look at the long term. Discuss all those things like cats, children, marriage. Those are deal breakers in most relationships. If you two aren't on the same life path, then you will eventually both go your own ways.
 
T

tobermory

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Don't let small things ruin your relationship. They are something that can and should be talked over. My girlfriend broke up stating that we disagree on every minor issue but I think she just wanted to get away from me because of alcoholism without saying so much. As much as I don't want to sound negative, but are you sure there are no undercurrents beneath your disagreements?
 
tabbykitten

tabbykitten

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Horrid to feel like this all the time and I do understand as I suffer from anxiety.
There are things you can do to help. If it is really getting out of control then medication can help. As a first step though, why not try meditation in some form. Look at the whole idea of Mindfulness (google that actual word). Using various thought techniques can help you control the worst of these feelings
 
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owlturtle

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We've moved in together, something he initiated and we do sometimes coast over those subjects but yes I do think we need to look at the long term properly now. Thanks :)
 
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owlturtle

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What kind of undercurrents do you mean?
 
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owlturtle

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I've had medication before for both depression and anxiety but my blood pressure is quite low naturally so when I had the anti anxiety tablets I was fainting here there and everywhere! I'll look into it :) thanks! I'm reading The Chimp Paradox at the moment in hope for it to twig some things in my head to help manage my feelings etc.
 
bulbie

bulbie

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I hope you get things sorted and make some kind of headway. Keep us posted. 👍
 
M

MYTIMEHASCOME

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I hope you get things sorted and make some kind of headway. Keep us posted. ��
I'm 27 I like cats and I want kids / get married - u sound lovely so if he dosent marry you and im still alive I will :) also with regards to jobs its ridiculously competitive at the moment... For everyone - so dw about it, it'll come x
 
bulbie

bulbie

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I'm 27 I like cats and I want kids / get married - u sound lovely so if he dosent marry you and im still alive I will :) also with regards to jobs its ridiculously competitive at the moment... For everyone - so dw about it, it'll come x
Little old me?
 
bulbie

bulbie

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Oooooooooooooh now you're going to have to go all polyamorous. :mrgreen:
 
M

MYTIMEHASCOME

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you and owlturtle bring the baby oil I'll bring the booze:faint:
 
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