Work!

[Bumbelina]

Hi. I only found this website last night and here I am today, already posting a question!

I have suffered from depression for the past 7 years on and off, taken various AD's, been through councelling etc. I went back to the Doctors last week as I felt myself becoming more and more depressed and had started to suffer from panic attacks (which I have never suffered from before) and started to act a little crazy. He prescriped me Citalapram which I started taking straight away.

I know that work is one of the main reasons I am depressed - I absolutely hate it and feel that the people I work with just don't have any time for me and if I have time off sick, like I did on Tuesday, I get ignored. Subsequently, I could have gone into work on Thursday but didn't feel strong enough to go in and deal with being ignored and snide comments. Now however, I feel so guilty that I didn't go in! And now I am panicing about what Monday is going to be like and how I am going to cope with it. I feel so anxious! ANy idea of how to deal with this? Do you think I should explain to the people I work with? Or just grit my teeth and get on with my job?

Sorry if this seems silly but it's Friday and I am already stressing about what is going to happen on Monday!

THanks

 

[thefool]

Hi, I'm with you there, just sit back and fantasise about revenge, then go and cry in the toilets, works for me, so far.

 

[Sugar Coated Owl]

What about having a chat with your manager?

Have you applied for any other jobs?

Please don't feel bad about taking time off, depression is an illness. I think a lot of people forget this.

 

[whatstheproblem?]

Sure your dr will sign you off- that way it's taken out of you're hands and people at work will know you have genuine reason for bein off ( not that it's their business!) it would be a big weight lifted if you were signed off and you could have a rest for a while or look for something else... Please speak to you're dr, just tell her/him that you really can't cope at the
moment. I was signed off a couple Of months ago, really didn't want to be but my dr didn't think I was safe at work so she took it out of my hands. I felt unexpecteldly relieved but against my drs advice I handed my notice in last week with my sick note- I love my job and am really sad about it but just know I can't go back. Not sayin you should leave but definately
speak to dr about having sometime off for now. Hope you're okay, I know how bad everything can feel, but maybe one day we'll be as deluded as everyone else and won't have to fake the smiles we wear... xx

 

[Soren]

hi there bumbelina, my heart tore a bit when i saw your post because i've been in your situation so many times over the years.

there are countless morons out there who think that work is the meaning of life, and that anyone who is off work (for whatever reason) is committing some terrible sin.

this is because they lack the imagination to do anything else with their lives, and because they lack the intelligence to question what they've been trained to think (i.e. that being a worthwhile human being depends on "work").

a stupid attitude when you think about it. its a hangover from the victorian era, when the capitalist class needed to persuade the ordinary working folk that what they were doing (killing themselves to earn a pittance) was ennobling. note that they studiously avoided this noble activity themselves!

most people still refer to this attitude (approvingly!!??) as the "work ethic". so it seems we still haven't shaken off those old shackles.

remember that you're working because you have to make money, not because your intrinsic worth as a human being depends on it. if people give you a hard time, its because they're enslaved by a nineteenth century myth.

just tell them that you're not well, and that you have no intention of pandering to their idle judgements by explaining yourself any further. don't allow them to affect you best judgement - if you're not well enough, don't go to work!

best wishes.

 

[missjones]

Hi Bumbelina,

I had similar feelings about work last year and finally worked up the courage to speak to my manager. He was great, advised me to take as much time as I needed off and when I finally returned to work even came to reception to meet me and provide a welcome back hug.

I have days here and there when I can't face leaving the house, let alone get out of bed and I used to worry what colleagues would think of my attendance and sometimes poor performance.

Now I don't care, if I am all people have to talk about then their lives are duller than mine. People can be insensitive about depression as they don't really understand and it's hard not to take everything to heart when you are depressed.

If your manager is an ass, do you have an HR section that could help?

 

[Bumbelina]

Thanks for your messages.

Well I went in today after a very bad weekend and feeling so sick this morning that I had to stop the car on my way in, and it wasn't as bad as I had anticiapated.


My colleagues were actually ok with me and I was so busy, I just didn't have time to dwell on things.

Re looking for something else, I am currently trying to study at home so I can go to uni next year to become a midwife so trying to sit tight and just ride it out but not sure how long I can continue.

I am so glad that I have found this website - have a feeling it is going to be a Godsend!

 

[Sugar Coated Owl]

Thanks for updating. I'm glad to here that work wasn't too bad. Hope it continues.

I expect it helps having something to look forward to (studying midwifery) would it be next September that you start? Best of luck with your studies.

 

[Jo1760]

Hi Bumbelina,

Welcome to the MHF.

I can really understand the idea that work makes depression worse. I hope this is a situation that can be resolved sooner rather than later for you. Honestly, I left it far too late before i took some time away. I couldn't concentrate and in the last weeks wasn't doing a good job at all. I really truely hope the meds help and you start to feel better.

Its good to hear your day back wasn't too bad. Keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.

Take care of yourself.