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work trip...



New member
May 4, 2010

I've had an ED for 7 yrs and am now stable although I still struggle and have eating patterns that are abnormal at best. I'm a student but I also work as a youth worker. One of the organisation I work for's full time staff and I are good friends, but to avoid awkward conversations in the past when we worked together on residential events and I didn't eat in the dining room, he was told by the welfar team that I had allergies and was a fussy eater.

Now we are going together to a conference abroad for 10 days. All the meals are communal. I do not do communal meals, I don't do meals at all, especially not with other people around. I can't afford to lose any more weight or I'll be facing IP again and I don't want that at all.

His girlfriend and I are old friends and she thinks I have to tell him. I see her point because I can't see myself managing the meals, and I need someone to know how hard I find it so that if I need to take a break they will cover for me. At the same time I don't want to tell him, I'm scared he will see me as someone different or things will be awkward between us.

Does anyone have experience of this or know what to do? I'm so stuck!:mad:


Hi oddsocksdraw,

I was in this situation myself. Can you not speak to the conference organisor about having a separate space and a separate meal from the others? I am sure they would be able to accomodate something.

One of my friends can not even be in the same room as someone eating nuts, you could make out it is a very severe food allergy again?

I am very concerned that you are travelling at such a low weight (i'm assuming you are if you are near IP stage). Please reconsider going, call in sick. You may have difficulties getting appropriate travel insurance and being ill overseas can be very frightening.

Please talk to HR or someone in your company about it, or someone involved in your health care.

Your friends boyfriend may well be very understanding about your issues and I'm sure your friend will support you and explain things to him. Please don't worry about what he may think, in my opinion looking after your health and safety is of paramount importance.