Words of encouragement

J

Jonboy 2015

Member
Joined
Dec 8, 2015
Messages
21
Hi, I'm new to depression forums, so forgive me for rambling on.

I have recently been diagnosed with severe clinical depression, this is the 3rd time now in 9 years, although I have been up and down a little all my life.

Each time has been due to circumstances, as opposed to always feeling depressed, but each time I get it so bad that I have all the symptoms, hopelessness, constantly worrying about things, but also the dark thoughts that suicide would be the best option, even though I know deep down that that isn't the answer.

I have been off work for 6 weeks now, and can't see how I'm ever going to get back to normal. I am under both my GP and the crisis team, getting meds and will be starting counselling/ CBT as a way to help me in the future.

I know having read through many of the threads that my issues may seem mild, but to me each time it comes back I feel as though it will never go, even though by and large it has after several months of meds.

I lost my home as my landlord sold up, and cannot afford to get somewhere else as I have debts which I built up living there, so, I am staying with my mum for the foreseeable future.

She is unwell with heart issues and bad diabetes, so on top of feeling like death most of the time, I have to do the house work ( when I moved in it was in a real state but now it's a lot better).

I also have a good relationship with my dad and his partner, but my mum and dad had a very bad divorce and still to this day only talk badly of eachother, and on top of that she doesn't think I speak to him anymore, when I lived alone, it wasn't an issue as she didn't know where I was or what I was doing, but now I have to lie to her when I see him, and lie to him that she know as both he and his partner are falsley under the impression that she is aware if that makes sense??

On top of that, both my dad and his partner don't believe in depression and have been very off hand about it, saying I should just role my sleeves up and get back to work, they don't understand just how debilitating severe depression can be, they also don't know I have all this debt, so are fully expecting me to save money, whereas the truth is it would take me a year at least to pay it all off, that's if work don't sack me before I get back, although they have said they won't, I have worked there for 15 years, and they are a large company who deal with healthcare.

Can anyone relate to me, or have words of encouragement to get me through, I feel as though my world is crashing down around me, and that I can't do anything to stop it.

Thanks for reading
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Hi jonboy.

:welcome: to the forum. Really hope it proves helpful to you.

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles and it's never nice when people tell us to roll our sleeves up and get on with it, wish it was that easy to do hey.

You will find people here who can relate I'm sure. I can relate with the people not understanding, I think most will relate to that.

Im glad you are in touch with your gp and cbt has been organised, certainly seeking out any help is a must, keeping an open mind about things you try is a good thing imo too, initially things like cbt may not feel it is making a difference, I found the therapy on a face to face one to one basis the most useful.

It sounds like you could do with someone to talk to, this forum is good, you could also seek out other help,in your area, different areas offer different things.
Maybe try mind see if they have counsellors or anything available you feel with help. Maybe some kind of debt management too, to assist with those sorts of things.
Home | Mind, the mental health charity - help for mental health problems.

You will certainly learn more by reading posts here.
I wish you well
Unique xx
 
C

Christobel

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 6, 2014
Messages
1,075
Location
South west
Hello Jonboy. I too have been diagnosed with clinical depression, but in my case it is psychotic depression. They are sometimes linked together in the literature. I'm glad your medication is giving you some respite. I'm also kept well with an antidepressant (venlafaxine) and a small dose of antipsychotic.

It must be a struggle for you to reconcile the situation between your parents. It's not easy when people don't'the seem to understand that depression is an illness. Please keep using the forum, as you will find a lot of kindred spirits on here.
 
Beergardenweather

Beergardenweather

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 5, 2015
Messages
435
Location
Uk
I also have to keep the fact that I see my dad a secret from my mother, it's going to get complicated this xmas and I'll have to do a lot of lieing which I'm shit at.
They also have no understanding, they should have taken me to the doctors when I was a teenager having constant episodes and self harming. Now I just don't tell them anything.
 
J

Jonboy 2015

Member
Joined
Dec 8, 2015
Messages
21
Thanks for the replies.

It's good to know that there are people out there to talk to.

i wish I didn't have to keep it from my mum, but she just used to always go up the wall whenever I said I was going, so for the sake of peace it's easier to keep it from her, but totally unfair on me at the same time, but hey ho.

Thanks for the comment about keeping an open mind, as I am dubious as to how they can help, but I will try anything to prevent this cruel illness coming back!
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
A Depression Forum 4

Similar threads


Top