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Words leave my lips and I don’t mean them at all

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DudeAtTheLake

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
2
Location
New Mexico
I don’t know what to do. I Think I’m bipolar, I’ve been undergoing treatment for it for over a year. I’m medicated. Yet I have this tendency to make everything about myself and say things that don’t make any sense to me at all after I think on them. When I can control it I’m able to be loving to my family. I’m able to be who I WANT to be. Who I am sucks sometimes and I just want some f***ing help or at least to see if this happens to anyone else because I just feel lost.
 
nutsie

nutsie

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
292
Location
Keeling
I not BP but I read many story same you!

I think many person here understand you
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
3,543
Location
Nashua NH
I’m diagnosed bipolar 1. lately i have been thinking back to a lot of my words, choices and behavior and realized that they didn’t make a lot of sense. I think this is possibly the delusional aspect of the mania or the bipolar in general. I would lie to people about things believing that it was the truth. Especially about things like my own achievements, who I know and my own importance. It is very strange for me to look back and realize that all of these were essentially fabrications that I believed in that moment. I don’t consider myself a liar but I did not tell the truth in the moment because I was confused about what the truth was without knowing it. So many other things I said or did when manic, upon reflection, just didn’t make any sense at all. It’s scary but don’t feel alone in it. It may be a characteristic of the illness because it is definitely something I have experienced too. xo, j
 
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DudeAtTheLake

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
2
Location
New Mexico
Thank you. It doesn’t make sense at all but that same thing is what pisses me off and hurts so damn much. I Feel like I believe what I’m saying when I say it But even a split second later those feelings dissolve and I’m standing wondering what the hell happened. Therapy helped a little, the meds changed my life on the daily, but once in a while these days happen that feel worse than being untreated and it flips my whole world upside down. Thank you for taking the time to respond, I know the whole world is going t*ts up right so it means a lot.
 
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