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Word-Phobia

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devoteeofdymphna

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 6, 2020
Messages
50
Location
Arlington, Texas
So... there is certain words that if I hear them... it makes me feel insecure and vulnerable... anxious... and kinda afraid.

It may be connected to some major depression related psychosis and/or past history of abuse that regretfully involved unethical/abusive (filtered)...

It is something that was never really fully or seriously treated... and right now in my life there are so many other things going on that demand much more attention than that.

One of the things that... I do... to calm myself is to rub my head, count, and to say a few words. Its almost OCDish. Maybe a safety behavior. But it makes me feel so... embarrassed. Like... until this is fixed that I might as well find the deepest, darkest, and most secluded place to hide... because no one would want to cope with this. And this developed maybe around...late 2014ish? SO... not very new... and its kinda expanded over time...

And more than a few friends have found issue with it... and I can really understand why... some have just politely stopped talking to me... or some have just politely excluded me from events and/or their lives.... so... yeah.

I hate it... I want it go away... it makes me feel so very broken.

During one of my hospital stays in 2017 I was trying to tell a doctor that.... I felt like it had to be something more that ptsd, trauma, or something else... that it didn't make any sense. That maybe it was psychosis... or more seirous psychosis than they were currently treating me... and the doctor basically minimized all of it and said that it sounded like it was a trauma reaction... and that he felt that better talk-therapy was a better approach but that it wasn't something that could be fully done at the hospital. And that if the safety-behavior helps me then to keep doing it.

But you know... its not... helping me in my life overall... you know?
 
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aisha23

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 29, 2019
Messages
1,355
Location
UK
thank you for sharing this.

it is something I can kind of relate too

when I was younger, when I used to hear certain words I would go red in the face (none of these words were swear words) but I'd still look shocked. over time, however, I'd learn to deal with that word but still have a new word causing me issues (i still do)
 
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EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
2,911
Location
USA
Just because it’s trauma related doesn’t at all make it less intense. I think it actually might help you to do CBT. Because yeah of course you want to not have to do your calming ritual. It’s not like you can always do that in certain situations. And it’s not addressing the root problem.
 
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Joeyd929

Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Connecticut
So... there is certain words that if I hear them... it makes me feel insecure and vulnerable... anxious... and kinda afraid.

It may be connected to some major depression related psychosis and/or past history of abuse that regretfully involved unethical/abusive (filtered)...

It is something that was never really fully or seriously treated... and right now in my life there are so many other things going on that demand much more attention than that.

One of the things that... I do... to calm myself is to rub my head, count, and to say a few words. Its almost OCDish. Maybe a safety behavior. But it makes me feel so... embarrassed. Like... until this is fixed that I might as well find the deepest, darkest, and most secluded place to hide... because no one would want to cope with this. And this developed maybe around...late 2014ish? SO... not very new... and its kinda expanded over time...

And more than a few friends have found issue with it... and I can really understand why... some have just politely stopped talking to me... or some have just politely excluded me from events and/or their lives.... so... yeah.

I hate it... I want it go away... it makes me feel so very broken.

During one of my hospital stays in 2017 I was trying to tell a doctor that.... I felt like it had to be something more that ptsd, trauma, or something else... that it didn't make any sense. That maybe it was psychosis... or more seirous psychosis than they were currently treating me... and the doctor basically minimized all of it and said that it sounded like it was a trauma reaction... and that he felt that better talk-therapy was a better approach but that it wasn't something that could be fully done at the hospital. And that if the safety-behavior helps me then to keep doing it.

But you know... its not... helping me in my life overall... you know?
I've never been diagnosed but I have this phobia. Ever since I was a little kid. There are certain words that I had even instructed my family not to say around me because they just trigger me emotionally and put me in a very strange uncomfortable place
 
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devoteeofdymphna

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 6, 2020
Messages
50
Location
Arlington, Texas
I've never been diagnosed but I have this phobia. Ever since I was a little kid. There are certain words that I had even instructed my family not to say around me because they just trigger me emotionally and put me in a very strange uncomfortable place
I wasn't formally diagnosed... it was mentioned to me more or less by a doctor at the hospital I believe... I was told that specific phobias are not really their focus with me right now.

"Logophobia" (fear of words). Which is kinda... hmmm... amazing in a way because I am also a logophile (love of words). Everything about words I really really really love.
 
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