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Won't be around

Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Joined
Jan 18, 2013
Messages
10,130
Won't be around much this week. Too busy. AlsO don't drserve help. Been bad. Hate myself.

Other people deserve help a lot more than I do. Those of you who have my email you can email me. And others you can PM me if you need something (HA like anybody wants to talk to me, it's evident that you all don't ezcept a select few).

Can't post. Hopefully things will get resolved soon but won't post until it is.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
Take it easy Lincoln. Make sure you find time to rest if you've got a busy time ahead.

I don't think you're any less deserving of help, but the way.
This forum is here for everybody who needs it - doesn't matter if someone is 'feeling worse', suffering is suffering and we can all empathise with how that is.

Also, i'm sorry if you feel unaccepted here. You have more friends than I think you realise. :hug:
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Joined
Jan 18, 2013
Messages
10,130
I'm very close to killing myself but it doesn't matter.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Messages
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Location
The West Country
I'm very close to killing myself but it doesn't matter.
Of course it matters! I'm so sorry things are this bad.

Is there something in particular on your mind that you're thinking about that's making you feel this desperate, or are you just fed up with everything? x
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Jan 18, 2013
Messages
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Fed up with everything. Too much pressure.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Joined
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Messages
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Location
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Is there anything you can do to take the pressure off?

Am not sure how things are going with your job - are you still working? Do you think that's becoming a bit problematic?
Nothing is more important that you're well-being and you being here. If there's anything you can cancel or postpone to take some anxiety away, then do it.

Are you due to see any doctors or support soon? x
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Jan 18, 2013
Messages
10,130
They expect me to be perfect at work. Without hardly any training.

They expect me to be perfect at home. I'm not perfect. I won't ever be perfect.

Sue expects me to be the perfect patient. I'm still not perfect.

I see her tomorrow I think.

I'm going to land in the hospital again and I can't stop it. It's snowballing. I'm under so much pressure.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Messages
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Location
The West Country
Nobody can be perfect or please everybody's expectations all of the time.
You know how they say you'll never please all people all of the time?
I think that's true and so you must focus on doing what is best for you, even if you risk potentially upsetting others.
Having said that, i'm sure others won't be upset with you.
From what you've said about Sue, she sounds really supportive and so I really hope you can tell her just how bad you're feeling.

I really hope you don't do anything to harm yourself and can be safe this evening.
Hopefully you can reach out for some support in real life tomorrow, before things get so bad that you need hospital? x
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Jan 18, 2013
Messages
10,130
I'm pretty sure I'm going to see Sue. I NEED to see her.

I have very little support in real life. I'm trying to reach out and get support on here (and receiving it, thank you!) but its so hard.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Messages
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Location
The West Country
Well, if it turns out that you were mistaken and your appointment isn't tomorrow, do phone her and let her know how bad you're feeling. :hug:

It is hard, isn't it? I hate being seen as vulnerable and reaching out for help, scared of the rejection that might come.
But it's work the risk. I'm sure everyone would much rather know how much you're struggling and try to help, than for it to be too late. That would be incredibly tragic.
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Jan 18, 2013
Messages
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Thank you SS.

So much.

For talking with me.

I'm not on edge anymore.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Joined
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Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
Thank you SS.

So much.

For talking with me.

I'm not on edge anymore.
Aww i'm glad that I can make even a little bit of difference. :hug1:
If you can manage it, try to do some things to help yourself relax or distract yourself.
I'm going to watch something on TV but will be still be popping in and out of the forum for a while longer. xx
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Joined
Jan 18, 2013
Messages
10,130
Done trying. Whatever happens. Feel like I'm being blamed. Reason why I shouldnt be on here.
 
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