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jax

jax

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I know we are all individuals, as is our illness. I wonder if many people experience this?. . . . I very rarely have the depression side of Bipolar. Not even when i have a manic episode or a big high. I can't remember an instance of having been very high or manic and then having a depressive episode after. If I do get depressed, it is usually very short-lived. Perhaps a day or two. Of course there's been a couple of times when I have had longer depressions - maybe a week or two.

A lot of Bipolar folk I know experience long, long periods of depression. Often When they've been high - they have the crash. I don't understand why I never get the crashes. Perhaps this happens in Bipolar - I don't know that much about the illness.

Jacqui
 
unlucky

unlucky

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jax, i'm not bipolar but it sounds like you've got it sussed!! does this mean that you're constantly happy or does it just mean that you're high and do stuff you wouldn't normally do?
 
jax

jax

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It actually means that I am high or manic the vast majority of the time. It is not sussed at all unfortunately. It's not good for me to be high most of the time. I do dangerous, crazy, out of character lal, lal lal things that make me feel very angry about when I come back down. I also put my life at risk amongst other things. It's not safe. I am not allowed to drive as I've not been stable. I haven't worked for 15 years. I have a degree that is not used and wasted. My life is destroyed.

Sorry, I had a rapid mood change a few hours ago and am pretty upset with myself now. Not depressed, or maybe I am?? I am angry about the stupid and crazy things I do. I'm feeling very irritated. I am ultra-radian cycling and I can switch moods very quickly. I think I've been a bit mellow-dramatic above - but I am leaving it as it is and it is good for me to look back.
Jacqui
 
unlucky

unlucky

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aw hun, i'm really sorry! my problem is that i always try to make light of my situation and sometimes it spills over into others too. i'm very good at just opening my mouth and letting my belly rumble.
when you say you get angry when you've come down maybe thats your side of the depressive bipolar bit but then i know nothing about it so i'll keep my mouth shut!!
i honestly didn't mean to belittle your condition in any way, shape or form - again, sorry:flowers:
 
jax

jax

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Em, no it's me who should be sorry. You didn't belittle my condition at all. I was angry last night - not at you, but at myself. I am generally the biggest jester around. I would make light of a very funeral normally. I just had that reality card slap me hard across the face last night. I used to spend large portions of my life feeling suicidal. I have not had that problem for over 3 1/2 yrs. That was until last night. It was one of the reasons I felt so awful. It appeared from no where and I didn't know how to deal with it. Sorry.
 
unlucky

unlucky

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How are you feeling today? Better I hope. We could go on all day with the 'No, I'm sorry' 'No, its not you its me!', so we'll leave it at we're both sorry and none of us meant any harm!!
I hope you have a nicer day than yesterday xx:hug:
 
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