- Jan 26, 2012
- In a living nightmare!!
I spent 2 days in the cardiac unit a couple of weekends ago after quite a serious OD, my GP Then asked to see me! So I saw her Tuesday just gone! Between the GP and my support worker, it was decided that I would be on daily scripts after I had finished my Doset box, but I told a little white lie and the truth was that there was nothing left in my doset box, I had taken them all!! So I have been without any meds since Tuesday and I am struggling to sleep and also to differentiate between my thoughts, my memories, my dreams, my past and what I have watched on TV! I can't tell if things have actually happened or when they happened and it all worries me all the time!! I feel like I have upset people, offended people, hurt people and vice versa, but I am not sure who, why and how or even if it has happened at all!! I can't trust my own judgement!! I go through a whole range of emotions in a day and sometimes I just think that if I wasn't here there wouldn't be an issue anymore!! I saw a mental health worker while I was in the cardiac unit and was told that they couldn't help me!! Tomorrow I can start taking the meds again, but I know that it will take a while for them to kick in and I am not sure that I will survive it!! To be honest!!! I am quickly losing touch with reality and I am so petrified and paranoid about everything and everyone and upsetting people, especially those I feel closest to!! So sorry I just needed to let somebody know this in case anything does occur!! Not saying it will, but I really couldn't tell you it's not!! Just depends on this stuff bombarding me. I apologise again!! In fact I can't apologize enough!!