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with each tear

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Polar Bear

Guest
Do I get better? Closer to recovery? What is recovery actually?

My daughter is at her dad's for two more days. I must get my act together by then.

I keep crying. Bawling. Laying in bed and getting up for food and toilet then back in bed.

I'm having some kind of meltdown. A cyclic meltdown triggered by stress maybe.

Any ideas? I sorta need help. Floundering. A mess to be truthful.
 
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Polar Bear

Guest
Is it bad that I'm back in bed. Closing my eyes. Exhausted by life and moods and drama.

I'm considering going sick to spend time crying and sleeping. Like it's something I need to do.
 
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Polar Bear

Guest
Maybe it is. I'm ok once I get to work. I almost meltdown when I use the redtroom but compose myself once more. It's difficult but I manage.

Is it better to stay in work...for your self esteem?

Or do I need time to wallow?
Or is wallowing bad
Or is it recovering and working through
But I would be giving up living in a way
I feel hopeless and helpless
 

MarlieeB

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Jan 15, 2013
Messages
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I'm the same mostly, that I'm ok when I get to work nine times out of ten.

I'm currently off sick myself because my anxiety is sky high.

It's all about what you think is for the best, how hard you find it to get the strength to get to work.

The risk you run is that yes, you will wallow but sometimes it's better to have less pressure.

If you feel it is better for you to be at work and you can cope with the struggle to get there then work but if that struggle is too much then don't. Sometimes you need to have the rest though, to let your body both mentally and physically recover.

You aren't hopeless, you are struggling.

:hug1:

x
 
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Polar Bear

Guest
You are smart and wise MarlieeBee.

I have been aimless and restless all day. I was pacing and a voice in my head said go and have a bath. You'll feel better. I said I don't effing want to. It persisted. I had a bath. Wiped my face with the soft warm face cloth. I feel a bit better. It's the evening though and I often feel better then.

I have an awful feeling I'm missing out on life. Then I think well this is my lufe. It's just different. I try to be a good mum. Luckily her dad is a good dad and probably has her at his more than she is here.
 

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,044
:redface: I am in no way smart or wise.

That little voice in your head was wise. Sometimes someone needs to treat themselves and a nice relaxing bath with the water whirling is really nice :)

I'm sure you are a great mum and you seem to have a good relationship with her Dad :)

Hopefully as the Evening goes on you well feel even better and then the morning won't be as bad.

x
 
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Polar Bear

Guest
I hope tomorrow am is better than today was. It's like I'm going through something I don't understand. It's tiring. Tears thoughts sleep crying thinking worrying anxiety tears sleep and repeat.
 
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