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Wife qont admit she has an issue and is been unfair

F

Ftjay

New member
Joined
Feb 23, 2019
Messages
1
Location
East Yorkshire
Hi,

I hoping someone has had similar expiriance and can advise.

My wifi has been told by a doctor that she requires medication and needs test for some form of mental health issue. I wasnt in the room with her and she doesnt want to tell me. What I do know is she binned the medication as she says she can deal with things herself.

The main issue today is i am Best Man at a friends wedding and she refuses to come, which is fine if she feels she can't do it. But she is making me feel terrible, she wont talk, cuddle or say anything out sharp aggressive answers. She does this when ever I go anyway, which is not very often at all. Maybe 4 5 time a year. She's says I put everyone else before her and that when we go places together i ignore her because I'm talking to other people and not her. She doesnt really even try and talk to anyone and sits looking so angry. At a recent event which she told me was my last chance to prove I wouldn't ignore her, during the photo part I stayed hovering around the photos while she played with the children, I did this becuade I know how much she hates photos in groups and me been at the photos and her over with the kids meant that I could stop the shouting over asking us to be in the photo and to keep her away without any stress. For this I got told off as she said she isnt a mind reader and I should have been with her, and I should of handled it by just saying no to the photos. I myself dont mind photos. At the table at the same event I was sat next to a family member I had not seen in a long time, we spoke I feel I tried to include my wife but this was also not good enough.

In general she says I put everyone else first and what she actually means here are my customers. I work for myself. I dont answer the phone at home anymore but working means to her that I'm putting them first. I dont fo out on Sundays working or anything like that.

This all makes her very angry and she shouts and crys. I maybe dont handle it well becuade I get annoyed when she wont speak.

I dont feel I can have a life or go anywhere becuade of how bad she makes me feel. It's getting so bad friends who we do see are noticing that she makes mountains out of mole hills.

I love her but I dont know what to do. I've now got to go off to a wedding on my own and feeling like I am doing wrong for going.

Sorry for the long post.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,220
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi
i don't have any experience with this but really wanted to welcome you to the forum
i hope somebody else will be able to advise xx
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

Well-known member
Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
2,423
Hi, only just seen this post, I hope things have improved for you both since posting. I support my husband who suffers with episodes of psychosis and depression.

With regards to the medication, I would advise you to speak directly with her GP about your concerns. They can't give you any information, however you can give them information.

With regards to your wife's behaviour, mental health problems are not a free pass to behave badly and her behaviour sounds very controlling and difficult to live with. She needs to take responsibility for addressing this. Controlling behaviour is a form of domestic abuse and you should not be expected to put up with It. It may be that you need to set some clear ground rules with her about her behaviour and possibly even an ultimatum for her to accept help from the professionals if your relationship is to continue.

There's a book called I'm not sick I don't need help by Xavier Amador which might be helpful too.
 
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