• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Wife losing weight fast *Trigger Warning*

P

Partner197

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2020
Messages
3
Location
UK
My wife (mid 40s) vomits after every meal/drink. Usually up to 9 - 10 times per day. This has been going on gradually for over a year.

Her BMI is currently 14 . She has been referred to a gastroenterologist who has performed various imaging tests, brain scans, endescopies etc - no cause has yet been found.

What they have not yet considered is the fact this could be part of an eating disorder.

She does not manually purge herself after eating. She says she feels sick all the time. We can be standing talking one second then she goes to the toilet and I hear her vomit. Not a lot of retching at all, just the sound of the contents hitting the toilet (sorry for the graphic description).

She has been told a number of years ago that was borderline anorexic and she does not have a good relationship with food.

Im trying to find out if this type of vomiting can be associated with the usual eating disorders. In the absence of any diagnosis, she is getting no real treatment that works. She has been prescribed various medications to stop feeling/being sick but they come back up so dont appear to stay in the system long enough. I begged this week for the same tablets to be prescribed in liquid form but heard nothing back.

I feel time is running out for her and am frustrated at how slow treatment has been. A year on from the start of this and she has never been referred to sit down in front of a psychologist, even though one of the letters between consultants said they had to look at this.

Thoughts?
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
4,272
Location
England
That is a very low BMI, no wonder you are worried. And all of the other health problems that come from vomiting so much. She must be exhausted and feel so ill and you must be so worried for her.

I will see what i can find out. Other people with ED will also respond i am sure. I don't have an ED myself.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
4,272
Location
England
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
4,272
Location
England

These people are probably the best ones to ask. I'm not certain, but it is where i would go if i had not had much luck with the NHS.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
4,746
Location
Sheffiield
I believe I've heard something similar from another member a while ago, I'm very sorry but it's been too long to remember the exact details but in this case it was a problem with the stomach not being able to digest food quickly enough rather than a psychological issue or eating disorder.

After doing a quick search for "stomach not being able to digest food quickly enough" I found a condition called Gastroparesis which rings a bell. I'll provide a link to a site and you and your wife can see if she has any other symptoms that relate to this condition.


But just remember Dr Google isn't always right and I'm not a professional in any way so this is just something for you both to talk to your specialists about.
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
1,385
Location
nowhere
Eating disorders involve a lot of secrecy. Just because she is saying she's vomiting because she feels sick doesn't mean that's the real reason. Have you been there with no walls between you when she vomits?

She could be taking ipacac to vomit. She also could have gotten herself to vomit easily by herself. There are lots of tricks. Does she have other ED behavior?

Since this has been going on a year, her teeth are getting ruined from the stomach acid so she should see a dentist. She's also losing electrolytes so she should get supplements for that (for example, Gatorade).
She is also becoming dehydrated which can lead to many other problems.
 
SlowlyUnravels

SlowlyUnravels

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
126
Location
The sea
Venturing the possibility that she does do it on purpose, people with EDs develop a series of tricks like @Purpleplum said, and purging quietly might come from habit so retching or not isn't proof. Now, I don't recommend forcing your presence while she purges or entering the bathroom without notice, I had that done to me and it makes you feel even more disgusting plus confidence between the two of you would suffer for sure. You said she's been told her relationship with food is bad, could you elaborate on that aside the purging? I hope that be it a behaviour from an eating disorder or some other condition both of you find a path to recovery soon 💜
 
P

Partner197

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2020
Messages
3
Location
UK
Thanks for the replies.

She went for an MRI on Tuesday and as they had to give her a drink beforehand, this came back up shortly after in front of medical staff whilst they were inserting the cannula (they had to stop as they couldnt get it in either arm - most probably due to her dehydration).

Ive seen her vomit (sorry slowlyunravels but I did also spy on her through the door ) and i never see any hand movements , but I know that isnt the only way to make yourself sick.

In her 20s she was told she was borderline anorexic by the GP, however no referral at the time was made because her BMI was normal. Although she has always been at the lower end of the BMI scale, she has never been so dangerously low that she required immediate help.

She is vegan while the rest of the family are not so she always has different meals. She has always been a little and often eater. Very uncomfrotable eating in front of others, especially publicly where she will do anything she can to get out of a meal out. She has had phases of over exercising (an hour on the stepper in the morning for example).

The rheumatologist we saw a year ago asked about food habits once the vomiting started as they were trying to rule out the biologics she was on (she has AS) and when we explained her behaviours she said "That sounds like anorexia". But no referral was made.

She has been prescribed all manner of anti sickness drugs in recent months and she barely makes it past day 3 of taking them, blaming side effects or "They just arent staying down". I see this as a warning sign personally as it seems she is fighting against getting better?
 
K

katwomyn3

Active member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
36
Location
Los angeles
It could be a health issue, she can't help.
But, I also agree with @Purpleplum with all the secrecy and tricks we do to indulge in our ED behaviours. I was at the point where I don't need to force myself to purge . I found alternative methods to achieve this.
I am not saying to question her like a criminal about it, but to also take this into consideration that she can be doing this and causing herself to do this.
Regardless, she does need to see health professionals and feel safe enough to be honest if there are other things she could be doing to cause this phenomena. If this is the unfortunate case that she is causing this to herself, she is your wife and you love her and she needs to know that this is devastating for you to watch and see her sick.
 
M

Mary26

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
266
Location
USA
Veganism, discomfort eating in front of others, exercise addiction, vomiting..these are all classic symptoms. I would think that given her dangerously low weight, if she can't keep anything down, they would want to find another way to get some calories in her? And I would think she would be quite resistant to that suggestion.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
5,113
Location
Nashua NH
I had a housemate once with Bulimia/Purging Dis order who was so ill with the disorder that she routinely had to go to the hospital to be put on IV.
Why she never got treated for her ED as follow up I will never know. xo, j
 
P

Partner197

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2020
Messages
3
Location
UK
Hi All,

Sadly my wife has now been hospitalised due to dehydration/starvation. I will update the thread if a cause is ever found , ED or not just for the sake of future forum readers searching for help.

They are just trying to avoid refeeding syndrome now. Im hoping she gets the help she needs during the hospital stay regardless of what the cause is. Thanks for all your very helpful replies.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
T Eating Disorders Forum 2
Top