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Why?!?! :'(

Hayyyleyyy

Hayyyleyyy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Messages
569
Have I turned into some kind of devil?! I have no idea what I am doing wrong, I'm clearly just useless and worthless!!

3 people have walked out of my life in the past 3 months... just stopped talking to me, no reasoning, no excuses just blanking me...

2 meant a hell of alot to me, another was just a friend... but still a friend at that!

What have I done!! :'(
 
F

fallen

Guest
Hi Hayley,

Sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I know how hard it is as had similar-it's horrid to be dumped without explanation. Perhaps your friends couldn't understand what you were going through? That's their failing, not yours. Or perhaps they have another reason-other things going on in their lives atm? Have you tried getting in touch with them?

How's Alfred? x
 
Hayyyleyyy

Hayyyleyyy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Messages
569
Hi Hayley,

Sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I know how hard it is as had similar-it's horrid to be dumped without explanation. Perhaps your friends couldn't understand what you were going through? That's their failing, not yours. Or perhaps they have another reason-other things going on in their lives atm? Have you tried getting in touch with them?

How's Alfred? x
Well one has schizo-affective disorder and about 2 months ago accompnied me to the hospital when i was taken in by ambulance, he sat in the crisis assessment with me.
Hugged me as I broke down, told me he would sort things.
I had a major breakdown, screaming crying, headbutting things begging them to put me in hospital.
They refused said crisis team would ring me the next day.
My friend dropped me home after I was discharged, I cried all the way home, gagging I was crying that much.
Woke up the next day to a status on facebook from him (not even a text!) saying 'next time you ask for my help dont shit all over me!'
I messaged him asking what it was about... He said he was angry with me and doesnt want to know me anymore.
Thing is there is ALOT of my belongings at his house!
He was like a brother to me :(

The second, came to stay for a week as lives inner london, we had an okay week. He went home blocked me on msn and facebook.

The third, we were really really close, like near intimate realtionship then suddenly one day stopped replying to me... now not even reading my messages just blanking me.

Alfred is good, he was 6 months old 3 days ago! This is a photo of him and my other dog Woody on Christmas day!;
 
F

fallen

Guest
That's really odd about your friends-I don't understand how they can be supportive one day and not the next. You at least deserve an explanation! The first friend, could you get in touch about getting your things back and ask about what he is so angry about?
Could your behaviour be read as being offensive in any way (even if you didn't mean it to)? I'm not saying you have done anything intentionally, only that if you haven't been your usual self then they maybe have taken offense? It can be hard for people to actually understand what you're going through if they haven't themselves, although your friend with schizo-affective disorder I would have thought could maybe understand, or maybe he's not in a place to cope with it?

Awww, your dogs are soooo cute!!! Love the 'santa's little helper scarves'! :loveshower:
 
L

lilpixie

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 5, 2011
Messages
187
Hayyyleyyy - BPD behaviour is often misunderstood and for those on the "outside" will be interpreted in a non BPD way. This does not mean that you are useless or worthless - all human beings have faults it's just the way they manifest themselves that varies. Intense emotions are hard enough to cope with when it is you experiencing them - I can only imagine how difficult it is for other people to cope with. Please don't lose heart - concentrate on the good days.

Hugs

lilpixie x
 
Hayyyleyyy

Hayyyleyyy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Messages
569
That's really odd about your friends-I don't understand how they can be supportive one day and not the next. You at least deserve an explanation! The first friend, could you get in touch about getting your things back and ask about what he is so angry about?
Could your behaviour be read as being offensive in any way (even if you didn't mean it to)? I'm not saying you have done anything intentionally, only that if you haven't been your usual self then they maybe have taken offense? It can be hard for people to actually understand what you're going through if they haven't themselves, although your friend with schizo-affective disorder I would have thought could maybe understand, or maybe he's not in a place to cope with it?

Awww, your dogs are soooo cute!!! Love the 'santa's little helper scarves'! :loveshower:
I have asked politely for my stuff back soo many times and his ignoring me, I have ended up being angry and he still ignores me... I just want my belongings :(

aha thanks theyre little monkeys!
 
F

fallen

Guest
Have you tried apologising (in a round about way): say you don't know what went wrong and that you're sorry if he's been offended and that was not your intention? Ask him to explain things from his point of view?

I do sympathise-it's really hard to deal with an illness, but to deal with friends who don't react like you expect them to is really upsetting and confusing.
 
Hayyyleyyy

Hayyyleyyy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Messages
569
Have you tried apologising (in a round about way): say you don't know what went wrong and that you're sorry if he's been offended and that was not your intention? Ask him to explain things from his point of view?

I do sympathise-it's really hard to deal with an illness, but to deal with friends who don't react like you expect them to is really upsetting and confusing.
I've tried that one too :( We were going through a tough patch anyway due to his 'obsessiveness' like me, he gets obsessed over people and idolises them, well he was obsessing over someone and kinda chucked me away, but this was the final straw... maybe he was just looking for an excuse?
 
A

anklebiter

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 7, 2011
Messages
288
Location
Aberdeenshire
I doubt you are the problem, it sounds like your friends have a lot of their own stuff to deal with. It hurts but you might be better off without them at the moment before they hurt you further. If they truly value you, they will be back.
 
dib4uk

dib4uk

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
2,190
Location
south london,england
Yeah I agree, maybe they've got their own stuff to deal with? First friend, maybe its either a patten with him, or the relationship wasn't as healthy for either you or your ex friend....

I can relate had what I thought was a long term friend disown me, now if we see each other we're both strangers..,. Truth be told if the relationship was healthy then a simple fall out can be ironed out, but instead gave her an excuse to walk away... To be honest she didn't believe that mental illnesses existed. To me, that spoke I don't believe in you... I too did the apology text/Facebook/MSN message... Then I stopped myself.

Truth is it takes both to make any relationship work well... Why bother if the other party isn't ?
 
Hayyyleyyy

Hayyyleyyy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Messages
569
I guess :/ Its just soo hard not to chase!

I care to much to just give up. :/
 
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