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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

why won't anyone listen?

W

warriorprincess

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Joined
Apr 14, 2010
Messages
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Location
Cool St, Coolville
I was idagnosed with bipolar 4 years ago, about the same time of year, i recognise that i have highs and lows, and always around every april i seem to experience either a massive high or low. I didn't stick around long enough for treatment (in my mind i didn't need it - i knew what was best -more drugs!) finally that all passed and i got clean. I've been with my partner for just over 3 years, we have the most perfect little 15month old girl(i cannot state that enough - she is truly out of this world amazing, it's a wonder) and a couple of months ago i went to my gp as i've had mood swings the entire duration of our relatioship which up until 3 weeks ago my partner had been very suprtive. But about 2 and a half weeks ago he just said he couldn't take it anymore, no longer in love with me, and getting angry so couldn't be around us now he feels like that. I understand all of that. I finally had my appointment with the shrink last week (read: 2 weeks too late, as always they never see me on time in the past and put it down to various things everytime) and he has now diagnosed Borderline or emotionally unstable. The thing is - while most of the things about it I've read are true - there is so much more to me than just that. there is no mention of the rapid cycling (but they can explain that as the unstable emotions bit i guess.) or this wretched depression, or the fact that i cannot control it - my brain takes over!! I am not an idiot. if i could have positively thought myself out of al of this, don't you think i would have by now? I'm 25 and been dealing with these feelings for a good 11-12 years. On top of everything i found out last week I am pregnant. It is all too much, and i feel like i have the wrong diagnosis, or if anything only half the diagnosis. Thing is, i've been depressed for ages anyway, and now with everything going on i don't know what to think. But i think i need a second opinion. Anyone got any similar tales and how did it pan out? I'm sure they missed the diagnosis last week of bipolar. Please help if you can think of anything to get my views across - by thee time i ever see anyone i'v snapped out of my extremes and i love to communicate so get this layer of composure that masks how i'm really feeling. Thanks for reading my words.... x
 
B

Buddha

Active member
Joined
Mar 9, 2010
Messages
32
I was idagnosed with bipolar 4 years ago, about the same time of year, i recognise that i have highs and lows, and always around every april i seem to experience either a massive high or low. I didn't stick around long enough for treatment (in my mind i didn't need it - i knew what was best -more drugs!) finally that all passed and i got clean. I've been with my partner for just over 3 years, we have the most perfect little 15month old girl(i cannot state that enough - she is truly out of this world amazing, it's a wonder) and a couple of months ago i went to my gp as i've had mood swings the entire duration of our relatioship which up until 3 weeks ago my partner had been very suprtive. But about 2 and a half weeks ago he just said he couldn't take it anymore, no longer in love with me, and getting angry so couldn't be around us now he feels like that. I understand all of that. I finally had my appointment with the shrink last week (read: 2 weeks too late, as always they never see me on time in the past and put it down to various things everytime) and he has now diagnosed Borderline or emotionally unstable. The thing is - while most of the things about it I've read are true - there is so much more to me than just that. there is no mention of the rapid cycling (but they can explain that as the unstable emotions bit i guess.) or this wretched depression, or the fact that i cannot control it - my brain takes over!! I am not an idiot. if i could have positively thought myself out of al of this, don't you think i would have by now? I'm 25 and been dealing with these feelings for a good 11-12 years. On top of everything i found out last week I am pregnant. It is all too much, and i feel like i have the wrong diagnosis, or if anything only half the diagnosis. Thing is, i've been depressed for ages anyway, and now with everything going on i don't know what to think. But i think i need a second opinion. Anyone got any similar tales and how did it pan out? I'm sure they missed the diagnosis last week of bipolar. Please help if you can think of anything to get my views across - by thee time i ever see anyone i'v snapped out of my extremes and i love to communicate so get this layer of composure that masks how i'm really feeling. Thanks for reading my words.... x
Dear Warriorprincess,

If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about what ever label you are given. Again, believe me, it does not really matter what label is put on you. What matters is the treatment. And briefly these are the treatments that psychiatrists have (whatever diagnosis there may be).

1. Antidepressants. e.g. Prozac etc.
2. Mood stabilisers. e.g Lithium etc.
3. Major tranquilisers also known as Antipsychotics e.g. Risperdal etc.
4. Minor tranquilisers also known as Anxiolytics e.g. Valium etc.
5. Sleeping pills also known as hypnotics e.g. Zimovane etc.

That is pretty much it.

Most psychiatric clients who have been 'in the system' for a few years - are prescribed most (if not all) of the above at one time or another during their years of treatment.

Why?

Because, if you don't get well with No.1, then No. 2 may help, or No.3 or No.4 or No. 5 or any combination of the above. And if you are in the system for a few years - it obviously means that you are not getting better. So psychiatrists try one or the other drug and then start combining.

What does it mean for you?

You need some drug that suits you and makes you well. Just ask the psychiatrist to change you to a differnt medicine that helps you better (if the one you are on is not helping you.) During pregnancy most likely you will not be on anything (or perhaps an antidepressant or antipsychotic alone).

Whatever drug you are on do not concern yourself with what label they give you. The treatment choices are still the same.

There is also
No.6
And that is psychotherapy/psychology.

Do ask your shrink to refer you to a psychotherapist or psychologist. That is for talking therapy. Many people find it quite useful. Because you are pregnant it may be possible to get a priority and be seen quickly.

Then there is CPN, OT and other community supports groups that you can have access to. Get your shrink to arrange for you all the support that you need. Every little bit helps.

I hope you feel well soon and can leave all the labels behind you.
 
W

warriorprincess

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2010
Messages
1,306
Location
Cool St, Coolville
thank you that is of help. yes that is my concern - it doesn't really matter what iti is i jhave but i have never had the right treatment. Things have always been labelled off in th past i.e stress anxiety, drug abuse, grief etc but nthing ever addresses what is causing this in the first plac. I know if i hada different mind it may not even be so bad.

I am on no medication simply folic acid for the pregnancy at the moment. 4 years ago they did start prescribing olanzepine, and sodium valproate, but i only took them for a week. And when i queried this last week they've said well they obviously didn't help as they are quick acting! But i didn't give it a chance before i was off using crack and smoking smack. this is the first time i've been clean off drugs for more than 2 and a half years and the same things are happening to me. But now they are putting it down to my behaviours because of everything i've been thru and learning the wrong lessons as a childhood. I just think something more drastic has to be done soon. my father suffered many nervous breakdowns before getting the right treatment, i just don't think i can go through this much longer. to be honest it feels like no treatment at the moment despite everyone being aware im having probles. But at what point do they help? ive got the mental heath crisis team coming out to me regularly but all they are working with is that i'm emotionally instable. Not that i'm depressed or my mind is racing, or i'm sleep deprived, or i wanna battle the world again one day and wanna get back up again and cope with everything amazingly like i usually do when i'm in my manic mind. thise are the days but they also bring with them the knowledge that it'll all keep crashing back down again until i get the help my head actually needs.

sorry thankyou i'm using this forum a lot to get my thoughts down as haven't written a diary in some toime so sorry to trail off like that.
 
S

skyblue

Guest
I wish I could help you Warrior, as you've helped me a great deal, only my minds running 100mph and I can't think straight, am a bit high right now.

I hope things improve for you xx
 
W

warriorprincess

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2010
Messages
1,306
Location
Cool St, Coolville
I wish I could help you Warrior, as you've helped me a great deal, only my minds running 100mph and I can't think straight, am a bit high right now.

I hope things improve for you xx
Skyblue absolutely no worries! that's so sweet of you, how is your letter going?

And yeah the way i see it on here is we can all just do what we can when we can. there'll be times when i cannot think past my own problems and you've got so much on yourself at the moment, it is therapy in itself just getting my thoughts out, if i happen to get any feedback it's a bonus. Do keep me posted how it goes with your son's school, my everything is crossed for you!! xx
 
S

skyblue

Guest
Thanks Warrior. I've sorted and sent off all the additional letters for one school which is in our catchment area (the mistake I made), just waiting to hear from them regarding the priority list. Otherwise it's an Appeal in June.

I now have to sort out the other school, I've written the letter and have extra support of another letter by my son's current HeadMaster. I'm also going to my son's doctors tomorrow in hope they can also write a letter of support as my son can suffer with anxiety/panic and he's not so good with change, and he really needs to stay with his peers. Hopefully, I can get this all sorted this week and sent off asap, in hope they can possibly raise him on the priority list, he's currently on 11th position. But we'll still need to attend the Appeal for this one, which is 11th and 25th May.

Thanks for asking.

Hope you're ok :flowers:
 
W

warriorprincess

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2010
Messages
1,306
Location
Cool St, Coolville
Thanks Warrior. I've sorted and sent off all the additional letters for one school which is in our catchment area (the mistake I made), just waiting to hear from them regarding the priority list. Otherwise it's an Appeal in June.

I now have to sort out the other school, I've written the letter and have extra support of another letter by my son's current HeadMaster. I'm also going to my son's doctors tomorrow in hope they can also write a letter of support as my son can suffer with anxiety/panic and he's not so good with change, and he really needs to stay with his peers. Hopefully, I can get this all sorted this week and sent off asap, in hope they can possibly raise him on the priority list, he's currently on 11th position. But we'll still need to attend the Appeal for this one, which is 11th and 25th May.

Thanks for asking.

Hope you're ok :flowers:
That sounds perfect - there is nothing more you can do than all that it sounds like you have a good chance with all the letters etc. They'll see what a hard working and dedicated mum you are, and like I said before it doesn't sound like they'll want to miss the chance of educating your son once they've heard about him!! I'm really rooting for you with all this. My little girl's only 15 months but I empathise with how you must be feeling over it. I really hope though that by being busy and having got all that stuff organised with it you're feeling more positive? we can only look forward not back..!
Thank you yeah today is ok ok so so you know?
flowers back, thank you. I just noticed today a totally random tulip has grown in the pile of rubble in my window box. and i realised i haven't often got flowers. So thank you xxx
 
S

skyblue

Guest
That sounds perfect - there is nothing more you can do than all that it sounds like you have a good chance with all the letters etc. They'll see what a hard working and dedicated mum you are, and like I said before it doesn't sound like they'll want to miss the chance of educating your son once they've heard about him!! I'm really rooting for you with all this. My little girl's only 15 months but I empathise with how you must be feeling over it. I really hope though that by being busy and having got all that stuff organised with it you're feeling more positive? we can only look forward not back..!
Thank you yeah today is ok ok so so you know?
flowers back, thank you. I just noticed today a totally random tulip has grown in the pile of rubble in my window box. and i realised i haven't often got flowers. So thank you xxx
Awww, enjoy your Tulip, it's grown there for a reason. Flowers make me feel brighter too. xx:flowers:
 
W

warriorprincess

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2010
Messages
1,306
Location
Cool St, Coolville
Ok so i saw my doc today again even though mental health are visiting and on call! was so down this morning i know i'm in a depressive one at the mo but can almost feel that high pushing thru. thing is when i called the crisis team they are all about putting it all on Borderline - which I may or may not have, but at the very least that's not all. So there i am heartbroken and depressed and they tell me this is because of my impulsive ways and losing control of my emotions a la borderline personality. HELLO?!! I'M FUCKING DEPRESSED!!! I've tried sorting my head all too late and now my partner has left me like i warned them he would, and then last week finding out I'm pregnant and trying to cope with everything else all at once as per fucking usual the racing thoughts never seem to pass any finish lines in my head! can't even go on antidepressants for the mo as trying to get this second opinion. And to be honest i'd rather not be putting anything extra in my body right now til i'm at least 12 weeks gone and only then if it's absolutely necessary. But where will it end? They haven't even typed up my meeting from last thurs yet so when my doctor called today she couldn't even see what went down, in order to be able to refer me for second opinion. Just wana be on the right tracks, This is uch a rollercoaster as it is being pregnant, so far i don't feel too hormonal but what when that kicks in? they gona blame it al lon that? and then i have to wait more months to get the right FUCKING treatment?

ok so maybe i'm a little hormonal. sorry to that eBay buyer, woman who puched in front of me, and very rude guy in sex shop, (you did kinda deserve it) Please excuse my language, just needed to vent... ahh that's a bit better. These walls really should have learned to talk back by now!
 
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