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Why should I not give in to suicide?

valleygirl

valleygirl

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Everyone says suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but my mental health issues are not going away. There is nothing temporary about BPD and PTSD and depression and anxiety. I am beyond tired, weary, and exhausted. I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up.
 
Deadheading

Deadheading

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I wonder that myself. People who tell you it's a temporary problem, or think it's selfish and cowardly, have no idea what it's like walking in a suicidal person's shoes.

My guess they only talk you out of it (and I'm talking about strangers talking about a suicidal person, with no connection) because by law, you have to intervene; or it's for religious reasons.
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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That's exactly it. I can trace my depression back to the age of 7, and I won't tell you how old I am now. This is a life long struggle with no end in sight.
I wonder that myself. People who tell you it's a temporary problem, or think it's selfish and cowardly, have no idea what it's like walking in a suicidal person's shoes.

My guess they only talk you out of it (and I'm talking about strangers talking about a suicidal person, with no connection) because by law, you have to intervene; or it's for religious reasons.
 
Mayfair

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This comes in bouts of severity doesn't it valley?
 
valleygirl

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Some people think they know what you're going through because they've experienced a bout of depression, and then gotten back to normal. It's almost worse coming from them, because they can't understand why you can't just get over it. They think because they got back to normal, I should be able to as well. But this is my fucking normal. I've been depressed ever since I was a little girl. It just so happens that my normal is getting more and more intolerable.
 
Mayfair

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Yeah, but even when I'm not feeling this low, I'm still just barely coping with daily life.
It's tough. Especially when in these extremely low periods. :low:

Have you found a new church yet? I recall last time you were looking for new one.
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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I've not found a church yet. I have become so angry and bitter and cynical about the church. I wish I wasn't. I'm afraid all I will do is cry if I went to church. I feel like church people have no clue about mental illness and they think prayer will solve it, and then when I don't get any better, they blame me for not getting better. They get annoyed with me and find me bothersome. And then I just feel so terribly alone because at church there is a promise of community, and then that promise, for me at least, is broken. No one knows what to do with mentally ill people and they hope medication will make us better, but when prayer and medicine don't work..........................Yet here I am, watching episode after episode of Call the Midwife on Netflix, tears spilling out of my eyes.
It's tough. Especially when in these extremely low periods. :low:

Have you found a new church yet? I recall last time you were looking for new one.
 
S

sadsadsad

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Everyone says suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but my mental health issues are not going away. There is nothing temporary about BPD and PTSD and depression and anxiety. I am beyond tired, weary, and exhausted. I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up.
So well said, mental illness is not temporary, is it? But that's a common plattitude people say against suicide anyway to make themselves feel smart.

I also wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up.
 
S

sadsadsad

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Some people think they know what you're going through because they've experienced a bout of depression, and then gotten back to normal. It's almost worse coming from them, because they can't understand why you can't just get over it. They think because they got back to normal, I should be able to as well. But this is my fucking normal. I've been depressed ever since I was a little girl. It just so happens that my normal is getting more and more intolerable.
The problem is how the term depression has become vulgarized to mean "I'm a bit down" or "I'm upset"
 
B

barmcake

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That's a very honest post valleygirl and my heart goes out to you. It's true people are full of sympathy at first but then when it continues they just give up and walk away. Am sure, like me, you've tried everything and found it just doesn't touch that empty hole in your heart. I continue to just go through the motions of living; trying to put on a face in front of other people is the most difficult thing. I hide away in my house as much as possible. I am with you and thinking of you.
 
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