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Why is life easy for some people?

HappiestSeason

HappiestSeason

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Joined
Mar 11, 2021
Messages
11
Location
San Francisco Bay Area
I lost my ability to draw. I see no point in making art anymore. My goal was to be a successful and famous cartoonist. Never happened and probably won't. I'm already busy with my fulltime job at the office.

I used to be able to make art back then when I was younger, ambitious, hopeful and crazy, but now that I'm 32, I lost the motivation and energy to draw anything. Maybe my clinical depression is keeping me down?

My only goals are to move out of my parents' house and live on my own next year. When I compare myself to other former classmates on Instagram, I see that they are smiling at how easy and accomplished their fulfilling lives are. Why is life easier for some people while others like me have it difficult?
 
R

rawlinsc

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Joined
Jan 22, 2020
Messages
756
Location
USA
I dont think life is easy for anyone. I think people think other people have it easy because they see what they want to see. Also peoples' lives could get easier or harder. Someone could get divorced, get laid off, etc. Or the opposite.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
4,725
Location
Canada
This might be one of the great myths of our time, that others are doing so well. This idea gets mentioned on here now and then, have seen it several times. I don't know, lots of people are doing OK I guess with the ups and downs of living. It's not an easy smooth road for anybody I've known. And they can have all the outward signs, a good job, nice family, good health, material success, and perhaps their life is pretty good most of the time. Or maybe it is riddled with stress, in a hard job. You might envy the guy with the nice house and car but you wouldn't want to work as hard as he does and put up with everything he does to afford those things.

Then hard things just come along anyway as we go on through the years. Illness and death happen. People lose jobs. Marriages don't always last or may not be happy ones. And other stuff. Then we have to ask why we're always comparing an idea (not the reality) of how others are doing to how we are doing. You may envy the good things you see, and the outward image of success, but would you take the whole package, were it possible, that includes things that are not so good?
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

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Apr 14, 2015
Messages
3,973
Location
England
I lost my ability to draw. I see no point in making art anymore. My goal was to be a successful and famous cartoonist. Never happened and probably won't. I'm already busy with my fulltime job at the office.

I used to be able to make art back then when I was younger, ambitious, hopeful and crazy, but now that I'm 32, I lost the motivation and energy to draw anything. Maybe my clinical depression is keeping me down?

My only goals are to move out of my parents' house and live on my own next year. When I compare myself to other former classmates on Instagram, I see that they are smiling at how easy and accomplished their fulfilling lives are. Why is life easier for some people while others like me have it difficult?
How I feel about this is....
Its like these people have been given the instruction book of life,
And others have been denied this book,
And just pushed out of the door,
Into a world they don't understand.
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
535
Location
The Moon
I know what you mean about comparing your life to others. I do that all the time. I'm trying to stop because it just makes me feel jealous and very depressed. Social media is full of lies. People share their happy moments, or photos that look happy. In reality, they're probably going through a lot of problems too. I think we must try to stop comparing ourselves to other people. Instead, take care of yourself and your mental health. Also, I love art, too. Don't give up on art. Find what inspires you and then you'll probably be inspired to draw again. Hope you feel better soon!
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
Messages
4,725
Location
Canada
I think with social media too, as well as just in general, people put on their happy face. When we actually socialize or go to the workplace we do this, indeed we may be genuinely happy, or in a good mood because we're being social.

With ones we know well and are comfortable with, we can get into those other parts of ourselves that are not all smiles and jokes. But the common expectation is acting or showing that you're OK. We have the idea that has been often told, that our troubles are personal matters, not something that is really anybody's business, except for the ones who are close, maybe.

Then also social media is a platform for mostly positive stuff, not necessarily lies, but a representation of good things mostly. You don't see too much of the struggles on there just because people prefer to keep that to themselves most of the time. You come to this site, for one, and get a very different picture of how common those struggles are.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

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Joined
Mar 3, 2020
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1,176
Location
USA
I dont think life is easy for anyone. I think people think other people have it easy because they see what they want to see. Also peoples' lives could get easier or harder. Someone could get divorced, get laid off, etc. Or the opposite.
I tend to agree. I think everyone's life has a measure of tragedy and unhappiness in it. We all deal with losing loved ones, getting rejected by people, job frustrations, illness, you name it. Even the wealthy people, though having a lot of money does open some doors for you that others don't have.

I think a lot of my problems are based on my outlook on life, I tend to see the dark side of events instead of the bright side. Some of that is genetic I suppose, a lot of it was learned from an unhappy childhood with continual tension and turmoil around the home. I take medication for depression, but a lot of it is adapting to events in your life and not seeing them always in the worst light. You need to attack depression (and anxiety) on multiple fronts, that's the only real way to beat it.

We all tend to think our problems are worse than others, especially those in our immediate circle of people. But remember, what you see of them on 'Instagram' and other social media is what they want you to see. Everyone tries to portray their own lives as successful and without bad happenings. They don't very often share the disappointments, failures and tragedies.

Whenever I think I've got a worse situation than the gang I grew up with, I think a little more about some of the disappointments I know they've gone through (that I may have heard through the grapevine). Everybody I know has had their ups and downs. Everybody.
 
R

rawlinsc

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Joined
Jan 22, 2020
Messages
756
Location
USA
I know what you mean about comparing your life to others. I do that all the time.
In a psychology class I took in college they called comparing yourself to others a social comparison. I do social comparisons a lot too. I dont like it because like you it makes me jealous and upset. I was watching a youtube video on mental health and the woman was pregnant and I got jealous because I obviously know she had intercourse. I havent had intercourse yet only oral sex or like fooling around. I also get jealous of people with nicer cars, houses, careers, etc. I dont like being jealous. I think its bad.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,635
Location
Nashua NH
I lost my ability to draw. I see no point in making art anymore. My goal was to be a successful and famous cartoonist. Never happened and probably won't. I'm already busy with my fulltime job at the office.

I used to be able to make art back then when I was younger, ambitious, hopeful and crazy, but now that I'm 32, I lost the motivation and energy to draw anything. Maybe my clinical depression is keeping me down?

My only goals are to move out of my parents' house and live on my own next year. When I compare myself to other former classmates on Instagram, I see that they are smiling at how easy and accomplished their fulfilling lives are. Why is life easier for some people while others like me have it difficult?
I wish I knew. My adult life has been so difficult and mostly unpleasant. I don’t know what those people have that I don’t. xo, j
 
M

Mistral

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
520
I lost my ability to draw. I see no point in making art anymore. My goal was to be a successful and famous cartoonist. Never happened and probably won't. I'm already busy with my fulltime job at the office.

I used to be able to make art back then when I was younger, ambitious, hopeful and crazy, but now that I'm 32, I lost the motivation and energy to draw anything. Maybe my clinical depression is keeping me down?

My only goals are to move out of my parents' house and live on my own next year. When I compare myself to other former classmates on Instagram, I see that they are smiling at how easy and accomplished their fulfilling lives are. Why is life easier for some people while others like me have it difficult?
Keep up your art and improve it, but I would take the pressure off yourself by trying too hard to make a living out of art. Try to get to the point where you think you can take it or leave it. It might happen or it might not. Learn all you can about it, but keep it separate from your life of friends and family. I would even not mention it to friends and family. Once you take the pressure off yourself, you will start enjoying the process of learning and progressing. Try to not let this talent define you in how you relate to people. Treat it as something that you just do in your spare time because you enjoy it.
 
P

Purpleplum

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Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
2,123
Location
nowhere
People who do better in life:

Those who are less affected by emotions
Those without mental health issues
Those with a healthy upbringing
Those who have a social circle they can trust and rely on
 
C

candycane

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2021
Messages
226
Location
Online
I lost my ability to draw. I see no point in making art anymore. My goal was to be a successful and famous cartoonist. Never happened and probably won't. I'm already busy with my fulltime job at the office.

I used to be able to make art back then when I was younger, ambitious, hopeful and crazy, but now that I'm 32, I lost the motivation and energy to draw anything. Maybe my clinical depression is keeping me down?

My only goals are to move out of my parents' house and live on my own next year. When I compare myself to other former classmates on Instagram, I see that they are smiling at how easy and accomplished their fulfilling lives are. Why is life easier for some people while others like me have it difficult?
If people say life is easy,then they are living in a dream world.
The real world is hard.
Even harder if you have a disability.
Which I have.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,176
Location
USA
If people say life is easy,then they are living in a dream world.
The real world is hard.
Even harder if you have a disability.
Which I have.
Exactly. It's hard for just about everyone. If you have a MH affliction on top of it, it can be incredibly difficult. Just read the posts in these forums.
 
J

jsmacks

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
61
Location
Georgia
I lost my ability to draw. I see no point in making art anymore. My goal was to be a successful and famous cartoonist. Never happened and probably won't. I'm already busy with my fulltime job at the office.

I used to be able to make art back then when I was younger, ambitious, hopeful and crazy, but now that I'm 32, I lost the motivation and energy to draw anything. Maybe my clinical depression is keeping me down?

My only goals are to move out of my parents' house and live on my own next year. When I compare myself to other former classmates on Instagram, I see that they are smiling at how easy and accomplished their fulfilling lives are. Why is life easier for some people while others like me have it difficult?

I think it is an illusion. Grass often looks greener on the other side. Most people do have huge issues. Even people who seem to have it all have struggles of some sort.

Instagram and Facebook are definitely illusions. Most people will only post about the good things in their life, so everybody will think, this person is so successful and got it together but very few people will post about their dirt under the rug.
 
C

CabbageMama

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
430
Location
UK
I (UK) went to a rule of six friends gathering in someone’s enormous Garden, today. I have barely been out of the house due to Lockdown and long term sickness. I totally isolated myself when I got bad, so today was a pretty big deal. I ended up feeling really jealous of the person whose garden we had been in, everything was so perfect. Then people were chatting about their wonderful relationships, what their significant others had done for them recently, which also made me feel bad. Along with the massive anxiety I had about going in the first place. Then plans changed, I ended up having to leave early, to collect my Son from his friends house. Although, of course, he didn’t get my message to meet me on the road. I had to go down the fucking massive driveway, to their perfect 3 story, plus a proper basement and balconies, house. And Then meet the Mum! He said how cool their barbecue had been. How awesome the Dad was, etc etc. I can’t express enough how I am not a jealous person, I generally am not at all, but I really felt small and hurt and insignificant today. I am usually quite measured, but today i was absolutely jealous of that house, and also that Family dynamic. I was really happy that my Son had had an awesome time, felt shitty myself that he kind of had a taste at a life that he loved and I wouldn’t ever be able to provide for him.
 
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