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Why I will honestly never get better..

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George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
306
Every time I spring forth into recovery someone stomps me down.

I woke up, having slept great and for once the day starting out great. I head into the kitchen to make bf. Because I'm a little unusually cheerful today my parents immediately notice. My dad starts bitching about the way I'm making my breakfast, like, don't you think that's enough pb? So I said, I do it this way every day. He said, 'well that's unhealthy and frankly, nasty. Just saying. I just rolled my eyes. Then I go to sit down in another room and I hear my parents talking, 'why doesn't he ever clean up?' I'm so sick of cleaning up after him. Listen, I ALWAYS clean up after myself. I'm not lying. I'm being god honest. I just don't put the damn untinsels away until I'm done! Every time I start to feel better and I'm not in a bad mood, somebody deliberately provokes me. I told them this and we had a bit of an argument. EVERY FUCKING TIME. They blame my sister's messes on me!

I just found out that my 'best friends' have been humoring me and they weren't my friends at all. They were simply hanging out with me to get kicks out of me. The friends I spent a whole year hanging out with, getting to know and trust and thinking we had a bond. I'm so sick of somebody chiming in on my personal life. I spent all my time alone. I do my own thing so why the fuck can't people leave me alone. Seriously I don't want your bullshit. Jesus I'm sorry for being born how I am. I've lived a demeaning life. It took a long time for life to pound the optimism out of me. Even in my early twenties I had that precious optimism I was born with, in spite of getting the shit beaten out of me and now there's none left. Ask anyone I was so optimistic and cheerful I was annoying. Over the last 3-4 years that's changed gradually as I lost my last shred of hope and respect for life. I'm sorry to bring another negative rant on here but I'm just so fed up. I've thought of leaving my parents house and living out my car, even tough I have no money, am a loser, and mildly autistic. I've stayed here because they genuinely need my help and I have had a lot of sickening financial hardship. Way more then anyone else my age. Just nothing but bad luck I guess.

Again I'm sorry for the negative rant and I'm sorry if its upset anyone. I love my family. I'm just sick of every time there's a glimmer of light in my life it gets squashed. People have gone out of their way just to hurt me and squash my optimism. It would've been easier to leave me alone.
 
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indigo6

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
804
Location
UK
Dont apologise George :hug:
nope thats a shit situ there but hey, its not you doing it is it. Again its selfish people.
Can you try to find nice things to do without these types being involved?
 
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