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Why i should not of survived 2012

  • Thread starter midnightphoenix
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midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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i remember some of it now, remembered during the night
:(

Late in 2011, my then-fiance decided he wanted to play silly games and left to get a new girl (at the time i didnt recognise his behaviour towards me before leaving as being mentally abusive)

I moved back in with family but family decided to take away the one thing i had left (my boy cat Dylan who i still miss)

I wasn't working cause nobody (employers) would give me a chance at that time which made my mental health really bad

family didnt care that i had nothing to stay alive for, professionals didnt care, nobody cared.

some point in the summer of 2012 i made one not-very-well-thought-out attempt on my life cause as i said i had nothing so what was the point in trying to stay alive

counsellor i was seeing cared more about his paycheque than about listening to what i was saying, the psych i saw (despite knowing i was self harming) thought i was wasting her time and was basically doing the self harms for fun

after the summer i remember i put together two more suicide ideas but didnt carry them out cause we moved

the one thing that saved me after we moved was the rescue, i went there to say hello (Mum came with me) and in the second half of 2013 Ebony went into the rescue and they really fought hard to save her, she got the OK to get rehomed just before christmas 2013, but no rescue will rehome that close to christmas so we went to adopt her on New Years Day 2014

Ebony was deeply damaged emotionally by what she had been through which i think is why me and Ebony were (from the start) like fish and chips, she saved me and in a way i did my best to save her

if it wasnt for Ebony i would not be alive now.
 
vanish

vanish

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I'm sorry you went through all of that Midnight. 2012 was a difficult year for me also.
 
Z

Zoe1

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hi Midnight

I like the way you have written that out so clearly for us
so that we can help more

you can change your fate by finding things to live for
especially thinking of rehoming other cats
whenever you dont have a cat
there will always be more cats needing a Midnight

the girlies are very lucky to be with you

:hug:
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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i remember he tried to win me back after that and threatened detailed suicide plan if i didnt have him back :(

i told him a ruder version of piss off
 
AnxiousE

AnxiousE

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Just saw this post now. Sorry you had to go through all of that, but thank ggoodness for Ebony (may she rest in peace). I think Zoe had a great suggestion and compliments. You are a great Meowmy!

Hugs
 
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