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Why don’t they believe me?

M

MerDreamer

Active member
Joined
Jan 2, 2021
Messages
31
Location
Chicago, IL
Hi All,
I’ve suspected that I’ve had an eating disorder since I was 14. I’m 34 now and in treatment for something that doesn’t make sense to me. But back to the point, When I was 14 I remember exercising extra at home even though I had an hour of exercise at school plus the walk home and dance classes. And eating literally only pasta and crackers for the whole summer before high school started. I told my Mom I suspected I had an eating disorder and she asked me what I had eaten and if I had purged. I told her I had eaten one meal that day we were having lunch. I asked her if I could go to the doctors to get checked and she said no....NEEDLESS to say I didn’t eat dinner that night. Nor were my eating patterns ever recovered.
If I think about it I remember being disordered even as a child. Wishing I had another weight I was at 8. And calling myself fat then stuffing my training bra and heading out to school where I was teased for it.
Fast forward to 2005, I ended up getting raped seven times and sick from the drugs he gave me. Some sicko I met on the internet. I was obsessing over the situation and kept going on and on in my mind about the things that were said when I walked out of my captors house and what could have been said, what I still wanted to say and the like. So when my mom found me panicking and praying she told me to dial 911. They put me in the hospital and diagnosed schizophrenia.
Now I don’t understand why they did that, probably one of two situations; A. They saw my Wiccan star on me when I got taken in but I professed Christ thereafter. B. They are measuring quantum physics involved in it to observe indirectly rather than up close.

Thing is this makes me talk to people that are not in the room....sigh...
my friend G said they didn’t believe her when she told them about her behaviors either and she definitely had anorexia....

what do you guys think??
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
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Nov 10, 2019
Messages
5,563
Location
England
Are they helping you?
Even if you have the wrong diagnosis, as long as they are helping you to feel better, that is the main thing.
 
M

MerDreamer

Active member
Joined
Jan 2, 2021
Messages
31
Location
Chicago, IL
Well, my psychologist is great but my psychiatrist doesn’t believe my story. I think he wants me to lie to him so he can see the difference on my facial expression to know that I am telling him the truth because he doesn’t know me too well. They are giving me antipsychotics and antidepressants. The antipschotics make me feel like crap. And further enforce the belief that I am overweight. I think what he is trying tomdo with those is get me comfortable with a bigger size which I hate. I’m constantly having panic attacks about my size. Literally Christmas this year was the only day I felt comfortable in my size because all my clothes read size 0. But then the week after Christmas I found out the designer of the clothes sometimes labeled size 12 a zero! And I’ve been panicking ever since.
I know I’ve been skipping a significant amount of meals and have been keeping a log. But when my own doctor tells me he doesn’t even want to look at the log and just goes on with business as usual I get scared....so I feel better in that I am exiting the program in six to eight months because I recently secured two jobs but as far as them helping me feel better no. I feel like they are just toying with me and hurting me worse.
 
K

katwomyn3

Active member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
42
Location
Los angeles
If you have brought on the subject how you feel about your weight and body, yet it is not a subject in your therapy. You said your psychologist is great, but if your psychiatrist is not taking it into account yet prescribing medication, then I would also be alarmed. If you are disrupting your diet and nutrition because of how you feel about your body, then whatever medication is being prescribed to you may not have the best effect. You should seek someone who takes your issues about that into account so you are given the correct medication and the correct care.
You have gone through a lot, but that is not a reason to umbrella you into a specific category in which you are given generic treatment. You deserve specific care to what you have gone through and what you are dealing with.
 
M

MerDreamer

Active member
Joined
Jan 2, 2021
Messages
31
Location
Chicago, IL
Thank you katwomyn3! Actually I just brought this up with my doctor today. And he listened and so did my case manager. I am going into case specific treatment tomorrow as it is now clear that the reason I was hearing voices is because I am crossing over... in other words dying... I think I have about a month left to live. But I’m fighting hard and really want to push through. So wish me luck. And thank you for your support.
 

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