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Why doesn't anyone understand?

M

MrNobody

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2015
Messages
21
I've suffered from depression for about two years now and since December last year it has become unbearable. It doesn't feel like a "black dog" or "black sheet" it feels like a beast destroying me from the inside. I feel totally possessed by it. I don't feel like my mind and body are mine anymore. I'm not even the same person I was before I became ill. If I knew where to get it done I would actually consider an exorcism, that's how strongly the feelings of having something inside me are.

I tried communicating this to my therapist and he said I need to "get up and do things". If only it were that simple. I feel restrained, or like the "get up and do things" of my brain is broken. When I do force myself to do something (the effort this takes is indescribable) I feel mentally exhausted and since I have trouble sleeping the exhaustion takes ages to recover from.

I feel pretty peed off. Literally the only person I had to talk to just doesn't understand. :(
 
Hecate

Hecate

Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2014
Messages
21
Location
Ireland
There really are "right" and "wrong" therapists for you. I've heard or people trying out multiple ones before they found the "right" one who ultimately ended up helping them. I personally have only ever seen one due to not having the money to experiment like that. They all have different approaches. It's annoying, I know.

I don't think people who haven't experienced depression know how much it drains us in so many different ways. It genuinely weakens your body. But the fact that you are getting help and seeing a therapist is a huge accoplishment in itself, be proud. It takes time but you will recover and you will be able to take up previous hobbies and going out and getting up early will become addictive.
 
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