Why Does This Upset Me So Much?

SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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A few years ago I disclosed to someone that I have PTSD from my childhood. I wish I hadn't now because it seems every time I talk to her she is trying to come up with reasons she has it too.Some of the things she considers "trauma" are ridiculous. She told me once she's pretty sure she has it because she saw a dead bird on the road when she was riding in the car with her parents as a child.Just a few days ago she said she knows she has it because she has anxiety and because she has a hard time trusting people.

I have tried so many times to explain to her that it takes pretty significant,severe trauma to cause it.She tries to argue that with me saying her symptoms match.

I get so annoyed and irritated when I'm around her.I feel insulted that she thinks the things she says would get her the diagnosis.

I'm not sure why it bothers me so much.Why should I care that she seems to want the diagnosis so bad?Maybe it bothers me so much because the terms "trauma" and "PTSD" are taken so lightly by those that haven't experienced the type of trauma it takes to receive the diagnosis?That some people think that because something feels traumatic it must indeed be severe trauma?Maybe because after going through 17 years of sexual abuse she's claiming seeing a dead bird is at the same level?

I don't know but I need to find a way to deal with her without getting so upset.She doesn't know what caused mine other than me saying I had a "bad childhood "(and I'm not about to tell her either).I do have to see her sometimes so I need to figure something out.Any suggestions?

Also...I guess it's not just her that makes me feel that way.When I hear anyone trying to say they have it from things that seem not very traumatic I start feeling shaky and get anxiety and feel irritated.And I don't want to react this way.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Maybe tell her that she can only be sure she has it if the doctor disagnoses her with it? then the doctor will probably tell her she doesnt have it and that will hopefully be the end of that one :hug:
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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Maybe tell her that she can only be sure she has it if the doctor disagnoses her with it? then the doctor will probably tell her she doesnt have it and that will hopefully be the end of that one :hug:
I have told her that,many times.She's never bothered to schedule an appointment to do so though.The only time she seems to even think she has it or has issues is around me for some reason.

Maybe instead of talking about it at all or trying to educate her on what PTSD actually is I should just suggest she see a professional,end the conversation and walk away,if I can.If she continues maybe I should just tell her I do not want to talk about it anymore.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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ok so it sounds like she's trying to play the "i have that too" card cause some people try and turn everything around to themself, my brother's girlfriend does that

like say for example for my grandma's funeral she wanted a special mention just cause she popped by to see my grandma once in a Sheffield flood (ie: rarely) just on the basis that she's the girlfriend of my brother. Another example with her was i got engaged to be married and 5 minutes later she pressured my brother into them getting engaged, my engagement broke off but theirs remained and she twisted everything round to her

reason i'm saying all this is cause some people are like that :hug:
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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Well I wish I could give her my PTSD for a day,I think she would change her mind about wanting it
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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I don't compare traumas.I don't think that would be right to do.Yet I guess that IS exactly what I'm doing with this person.

It's wrong of me to do that.Who am I to judge her,I'm not inside her head.Maybe seeing a dead bird on the road really was traumatizing for her.Maybe she had such a stable,happy and wholesome childhood that seeing the bird was so far out of her normal existence that it had a huge impact on her.Maybe her world changed after that,maybe she realized not everything in life is as perfect as she thought.Or maybe it made her question her own mortality.Who knows.

Just because I wouldn't consider it trauma or she wouldn't get a PTSD diagnosis from it doesn't mean it wasn't traumatic for her.Maybe I should try to show a little compassion for her and see how that goes.Maybe she just wants her struggles to be validated,for her feelings to be validated.

Maybe next time she tells me something,like she saw a squirrel get hit by a car(or a butterfly lost it's wing...made up examples of course)and she knows she has PTSD from it I should put myself in her shoes.I would be upset if I saw something like that,I might even cry,but I wouldn't consider it trauma.But maybe for her it is.Maybe I should act like if would be so horrible and traumatic and validate her feelings.Maybe that's all she wants,maybe she's not really just wanting the diagnosis.

IDK.

But that's what I'm thinking now that I've used my medical marijuana.And now,trying to react/respond to her in a different way sounds like it's worth trying.The way I have been reacting sure isn't working out so well.I have anxiety for hours after I've been around her.So it's worth a try.
 
Chris Walken

Chris Walken

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Get her a badge made up:

" #PTSD / Me Too! "
She can use it for her avatar, on social media. Bit of luck, it'll 'go viral'. Then, in a couple of weeks time, having PTSD will become 'yesterdays fad' and us poor bastards who Genuinely have it will be left alone, to hunker down and exchange notes between ourselves.

 

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