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Why does everyone around me just expect me to be able to stop

S

Sootiecat

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Swindon
Hi all, it’s my first post on here sorry if I waffle. I have got a lot of people around me telling me that I should be able to just stop SH, but I can’t find the words to be able to tell them that. Has anyone else had this problem and if so how did you deal with it?
Thanks
 
greebobeebo

greebobeebo

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
1,015
Location
north norfolk
Because they don't understand.
I actually printed out an article when my mother couldn't understand. I did try to explain but she continued with the why would question.
After the article she never asked again.
When another family member saw my scars and asked me what I was doing, I told her I was fighting with myself.
Someone told me that a red pen drawing lines on my arm would work, not for me, I needed the feelings out, not doodles on my arm.
Very few people outside family have ever asked and if they ever did, I would tell them I sh and head is fudged.
 
simonr1978

simonr1978

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 22, 2018
Messages
192
greebobeebo is right. In a nutshell, people don't understand.

I'm 41 and only started in the last year. I could never understand previously why people would do this and now I can't stop.

Try to look at it from an outsider's point of view.

What's the appeal? What's the advantage? What do we get out of it? Honestly, nothing. And yet I still do it, we still do it, even if we ourselves don't understand or can't articulate why we do.

The best explanation I can come up with when people ask me is that it's just how I cope with things. I don't pretend it's a good way of coping, but it's my way of coping. If people push it, I usually just shrug.

If I want to provide a reason, recently I gave the enquirer the choice of either that I was being slowly mauled to death by the world's most patient tiger or I have issues. He accepted the latter.Alternatively my boss (amongst others) accepted it was my cat (I don't have any pets), when pushed I say he's called Schroedinger. So far no-one I work with has got the reference.
 
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