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Why do people ignore sufferers as long as they don't verbally express it?

UnstableSolace

UnstableSolace

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Why do people ignore sufferers as long as they don't verbally express it?
To me, it seems pretty obvious who is suffering more than a healthy individual simply through seeing their body language, facial expressions, how much they care for their physical appearance, and so forth.
But the world only seems to judge others based on what we tell them. You could be far too severely hurt and afraid ever since you were a toddler to speak up to anyone; that'd get you judged, isolated and made fun of for your behaviour. Then you have the ones who verbally say they're having such a hard life and get all of the attention and people to support them, whether or not they've been genuinely abused/neglected on the level of the former individuals.
It's a shame, but that's just the world we live in.

And it's fine, I do not mind too much about the level of support that both receive (although it should be 100% obvious that more damaged individuals need more support to be treated) but the world seems to treat those speechless individuals as outcasts and do not even give them a chance at getting better. What I do mind about though, and a lot, is that they should at least be given support. Alas, most do not because they do not speak up in the first place. It really bothers me that there are people in this world who treat others as simple-mindedly as this.
 
B

bpd2020

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It can be hard to tell who is suffering if they do not verbally express it. I am unable to show emotion other then through words. I have found as I appear okay and therefore I have been told I am fine. From what I have learned we have to fight to get help. I am so sorry you have not been given the help you need.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Basically, I don't believe other people know what anybody else is going through, and we need to use our words to let them see. I've been through some really dreadful crap in the past, and family members living in the same house were totally unaware of it. It was a mental experience, nothing visible about it. Some of my actions/words could be strange to others, and they might pick up a hint that something was wrong, but what could they do? I needed medical help and medication in those severe cases.
 
Talina

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I think it can be hard truly seeing a person that suffers. Some you can spot easily but there are also people that are great at masking how much they suffers.

Myself is great at hiding my struggles and how bad I feel. I’ve learned that you need to speak or at least reach out for help, so anyone can take notice. But sometimes it can be hard taking the steps, friends and family can sometimes notice but even close ones can not see when a person suffers without the person talks with them.
 
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Flim Flim

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For some people its best not to say anything.
After all is said and done we are still alone in our minds.

We all deal with it differently.
I have given the wrong impression by hiding my pain.
Angry that others are in a position to be empathised with, while i have to keep my head up.

Worth noting.
If something happens to you which has happened to 1000 others. Then you can help each other as part of recovery. Relatable

But what if you were the first to experience something, and have it documented for science purposes?

Wouldnt you want to find those documents?

When i am at my weakest and tried to talk. Alot of it backfired.
Send someone a message because i am in pain? BAD IDEA, they can share this message for entertainment.
Speak to an online therapist about constant visions of death in a state of psychosis? BAD IDEA, someone is hacking you and has screenshotted you anonymously.

Thing is, people generally DO want to see you suffer. If they think you deserve it, so.
Some of us are on our own.
 
P

Purpleplum

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People don't know what to say.
People don't know if the person wants to be bothered.
People are afraid of how the person will react.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

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I view this question through the lens of someone who's lived many years with mental illness.

People can react to persons with mental illness with anger, hurt, fear or dismissal when they fail to see us as sick people. And we can fail to be seen as sick people when we're frightened by the consequences of disclosing our illness.
 
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Elisante

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You know, I was just reading another post by a guy saying how bothered he (or she I don't know) was when a girl asked if he is okay.

I've also heard a lot of people saying that they hate it when strangers talk to them or when people that know them pity them.

And there was another thread where some people with depression were talking about how much they hate useless advice by people that don't suffer.

You are all very quick to judge people and expect them to be mind readers. You expect them not only to know how you feel but also to know if you need them to talk to you or leave you alone. People are not therapists nor do they have the responsibility to psychoanalyze everyone in the room in order to detect who needs help.

When people verbally express suffering they announce their problem and welcome others' sympathy so it's easier to support them.
 
B

bpd2020

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For some people its best not to say anything.
After all is said and done we are still alone in our minds.

We all deal with it differently.
I have given the wrong impression by hiding my pain.
Angry that others are in a position to be empathised with, while i have to keep my head up.

Worth noting.
If something happens to you which has happened to 1000 others. Then you can help each other as part of recovery. Relatable

But what if you were the first to experience something, and have it documented for science purposes?

Wouldnt you want to find those documents?

When i am at my weakest and tried to talk. Alot of it backfired.
Send someone a message because i am in pain? BAD IDEA, they can share this message for entertainment.
Speak to an online therapist about constant visions of death in a state of psychosis? BAD IDEA, someone is hacking you and has screenshotted you anonymously.

Thing is, people generally DO want to see you suffer. If they think you deserve it, so.
Some of us are on our own.
I am so sorry you were let down when you reached out for support. I hope you will feel differently about this forum and reach out here as we are not here to judge you.
 
M

Mistral

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Apr 28, 2011
Messages
448
Why do people ignore sufferers as long as they don't verbally express it?
To me, it seems pretty obvious who is suffering more than a healthy individual simply through seeing their body language, facial expressions, how much they care for their physical appearance, and so forth.
But the world only seems to judge others based on what we tell them. You could be far too severely hurt and afraid ever since you were a toddler to speak up to anyone; that'd get you judged, isolated and made fun of for your behaviour. Then you have the ones who verbally say they're having such a hard life and get all of the attention and people to support them, whether or not they've been genuinely abused/neglected on the level of the former individuals.
It's a shame, but that's just the world we live in.

And it's fine, I do not mind too much about the level of support that both receive (although it should be 100% obvious that more damaged individuals need more support to be treated) but the world seems to treat those speechless individuals as outcasts and do not even give them a chance at getting better. What I do mind about though, and a lot, is that they should at least be given support. Alas, most do not because they do not speak up in the first place. It really bothers me that there are people in this world who treat others as simple-mindedly as this.
They might have their 15 minutes of fame and gain a few acquaintances, but will it last? If they are famous they might even be able to boost their appeal among some people and might even make some money out of the writing books and taking part in TV programmes. But can they really live their lives based on sympathy in the long run?
 
UnstableSolace

UnstableSolace

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They might have their 15 minutes of fame and gain a few acquaintances, but will it last? If they are famous they might even be able to boost their appeal among some people and might even make some money out of the writing books and taking part in TV programmes. But can they really live their lives based on sympathy in the long run?
Yeah, I do understand that, but it is better than being alone or judged for my behaviour.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Feb 27, 2020
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Location
Nashua NH
Sometimes sufferers are ignored even when they do express it. Some have to fight over and over for the care that they receive and, once they are in care, to keep it. Resources are slim, budgets are tight and needs are many. Everyone becomes a number unless you make a point to stand out and stand up for your needs and your services. In mental health, like in life, you have to fight for everything and the squeaky wheel often gets the grease.
 

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