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why do i self harm when im angry?

E

enshaedn1

New member
Joined
Sep 20, 2021
Messages
3
Location
aus
hi all im new here and this is the first time ive posted anywhere about this but i realised yesterday that i always self harm when my anger reaches a boiling point. Yes i do keep my anger bottled up but i think thats because i think i have it under control. I realise now that i never did … ive attempted suicide when i was a teen but now as a adult i thought i had left that stage of my life behind. It never left i guess, maybe i just buried it far down. anyways just wondering if anyone else has things that help them to prevent doing this?
 
A

AppleJacks999

Former member
Joined
Sep 14, 2021
Messages
613
Location
NoWhere
I used to do that too when I used to self-harm. It kept me from exploding. When everything got out of control in my life, it was how I controlled it.

When I feel angry now, I talk to myself. Yep, talk to myself...I know there's no one there, but I calm myself by talking out whatever dillema I'm dealing with like the person is there, and I get my anger out that way. It's calming and self soothing.
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,980
Location
US
hi all im new here and this is the first time ive posted anywhere about this but i realised yesterday that i always self harm when my anger reaches a boiling point. Yes i do keep my anger bottled up but i think thats because i think i have it under control. I realise now that i never did … ive attempted suicide when i was a teen but now as a adult i thought i had left that stage of my life behind. It never left i guess, maybe i just buried it far down. anyways just wondering if anyone else has things that help them to prevent doing this?
Hey, @enshaedn1, welcome to the forum. Are you feeling safe right now? Are you seeing anyone for all this (therapist/doctor)?

I think about this a lot as well, and I think I SH because of hatred or toward myself and it is also a way of letting the internal pain and anger out. Although I don't really feel it at the time that much, the upcoming physical pain can just cover up emotional pain sometimes.

I hope you find the forum helpful, as it has been to many of us. But please, if you feel like that part of yourself that was suicidal is reemerging, reach out for help. It's too important to stay here.
xx


If you're feeling like you want to die, it's important to tell someone.

Help and support are available right now. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.

Phone a helpline

These free helplines are there to help when you're feeling down or desperate.

You can also call these helplines for advice if you’re worried about someone else.

In the UK and Ireland, call the Samaritans on 116123.
In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ion 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, call the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, call Lifeline on 131114.
In New Zealand, call Need to Talk on 1737 or 080017371737.
For other countries please visit this list of crisis helplines.

Emergency help

If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111 or call the international emergency number of 112).

Please do seek help as soon as possible.
 
Siegfried

Siegfried

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
496
Location
South America.
I don't self harm but I've known a couple of people that did.

My understanding was that it was a sort of emotional release and comfort to deal with stressful or unpleasant emotions, not unlike using drugs I suppose.
 
E

enshaedn1

New member
Joined
Sep 20, 2021
Messages
3
Location
aus
I used to do that too when I used to self-harm. It kept me from exploding. When everything got out of control in my life, it was how I controlled it.

When I feel angry now, I talk to myself. Yep, talk to myself...I know there's no one there, but I calm myself by talking out whatever dillema I'm dealing with like the person is there, and I get my anger out that way. It's calming and self soothing.
thank you for sharing, yeah that was me yesterday…
i tried talking to myself but i feel like whenever i do a part of me that is angry always takes over and i feel like the F the world attitude come over me and then im back to square one. Thats the anger i need to tame. i will try to speak to the other part of me that wants to initiate the change(the one who has empathy)
thank you again
 
E

enshaedn1

New member
Joined
Sep 20, 2021
Messages
3
Location
aus
Hey, @enshaedn1, welcome to the forum. Are you feeling safe right now? Are you seeing anyone for all this (therapist/doctor)?

I think about this a lot as well, and I think I SH because of hatred or toward myself and it is also a way of letting the internal pain and anger out. Although I don't really feel it at the time that much, the upcoming physical pain can just cover up emotional pain sometimes.

I hope you find the forum helpful, as it has been to many of us. But please, if you feel like that part of yourself that was suicidal is reemerging, reach out for help. It's too important to stay here.
xx


If you're feeling like you want to die, it's important to tell someone.

Help and support are available right now. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.

Phone a helpline

These free helplines are there to help when you're feeling down or desperate.

You can also call these helplines for advice if you’re worried about someone else.

In the UK and Ireland, call the Samaritans on 116123.
In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ion 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, call the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, call Lifeline on 131114.
In New Zealand, call Need to Talk on 1737 or 080017371737.
For other countries please visit this list of crisis helplines.

Emergency help

If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111 or call the international emergency number of 112).

Please do seek help as soon as possible.
Thank you for the welcoming,
Yes as of right now im safe, was in a dark place when i called out and after going through the threads i finally plucked up the courage to ask mine.

I realise that through all the threads i read that its a hatred for myself in the inability to fix things in my life. An anger i want to get to the root of by listening to others. I listen better than i do talk.

As for the self harm it is a release for me that doesnt break stuff(i dont wanna pay for the material things i break in my anger) so i project it onto myself which to me is only hurting me.

when i feel suicidal i guess i really want to stop feeling emotions. If i didnt feel them maybe i wouldnt think that way idk. Ive struggled with it in the past but recent events have made it resurface. I feel that way but i know i have people to help so this is me attempting to expel my pain and anger at its root.
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
I use to self harm as a little boy right up till I was 40 and I stopped, I am now 60 and still have not self harmed in the last 20 yrs. I'd get angry so turned it onto my self not just because of my anger either, I was never worthy of being happy but in the end I got the help I needed and worked through all my troubles. Even though it has been many years since I stopped I have to still be on my guard as if I feel crap then I have to act on the SH thoughts that still come into my head.
 
J

JonBoy81

Active member
Joined
Oct 5, 2021
Messages
33
Location
Georgia
Hey buddy! I believe that with the self harm issue as an adult it is a way of venting that pinned up anger. As a child it could be a need for attention and can’t voice it. But as I have dealt with my own anger issues I have had to find coping mechanisms. Try a punching bag!
 

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