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Why do I have to be scared every time I wake up?

Carol1952

Carol1952

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
951
Location
New England
I am so very scared and anxious when i first wake up.I know I do have a lot on my mind but the anxieties seem to feel worse when i first wake up.Even when i dont have anything going on in my pbrain it still happens,this feeling of doom all the time awful I dont want to overdose on meds and I wont because I only take them when i need them,Still this constant worry and fear is driving me crazy.You would think after having this illness for over 40 years which is most of my life something would give I >Who knows maybe because I am old.Who knows everything seems to happen when u r old.It is tough having to live like this every single day.Ineed some sleep.I wish my head would just stop already with the negative thinking .However I dont know how to change it.I have tried but it seems like every single time I try to think positive it last for what about ten seconds.The negative thinking is why we all have anxieties .Talking here to such nice people helps .
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
9,731
Location
UK
Hi Carol,

All anxiety stems from the contents of our heads - whether that's bad memories, traumatic events that we haven't come to terms with, or fears about the future.

When we sleep, our minds can unpack and process these things without us being conscious...and the physical body reacts with panic and anxiety. Did you know our physical bodies respond in exactly the same way to a memory as they do to a current event? So if your mind recalls a time of great personal pain, your body will manifest the same symptoms as if you are living through it now.

Talk therapy is the only way to unravel those memories and experiences and deal with them in a safe environment.

D'you remember as a kid being asked to tidy your room and stuffing everything in the cupboard? Looks great until the cupboard door busts open under the strain and all the stuff comes tumbling out. This is how it is with our minds - things pushed away that are too painful to look at in the light of day and when you sleep that cupboard door in your brain gives way and chucks it all out. We wake up with a panic attack, severe anxiety or a sense of doom...and we don't remember why. Our bodies react to the thoughts being filtered as we sleep.

Talk therapy will help you sort through what's bothering you. Meds will suppress the symptoms to a point but you need to work through things that have happened.

I know these things are either unavailable or reduced to phone and online support right now but it would be worth talking to your doctor and seeing what could be set up for you. You're caught in a vicious cycle of feeling anxious and strung out - reacting to people with anger - then pushing people away with that anger at a time when you most need them. It's really hard on you and the answer isn't going to be more pills - it's getting support to talk through the things in your head that disturb you.

In the meantime - try and focus on anything positive. You can train your mind just like a puppy by rewarding the good thoughts. Get a pad and pen out and write down the good things in a day...doesn't matter how small or simple. When you miss your family and the thought is: "I don't see my family" change that to "My family are safe and healthy, thank God". If your friend visits and can't stay long and the thought is "she could have sat with me longer" change that thought to "I've got someone who always remembers me and finds the time for me, no matter what."

If you get yourself into the habit of framing experiences in the most positive way, your body has nothing to react to. When we catastrophize events, we get anxiety. Your physical body does not know the difference between a family death or a problem paying a bill over the phone if your reaction is negative and emotional. We keep putting ourselves back in a state of panic and flight.

So - give it a try. Tell me the good stuff. Look for the good stuff. Write the good stuff down. If there's a moment when you feel calm and comfortable and you're listening to the radio and the sun is shining in the window, WALLOW in that moment and take in everything about it that makes you feel good. Your mind will soon learn to search for the nice things and these automatically become the first things you notice and the anxiety subsides.

Sending you so much love. You're not alone - you've got friends here and you're a strong-willed lady...just make that strength work for you. Big hug for now xxx
 
Carol1952

Carol1952

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
951
Location
New England
Hi Carol,

All anxiety stems from the contents of our heads - whether that's bad memories, traumatic events that we haven't come to terms with, or fears about the future.

When we sleep, our minds can unpack and process these things without us being conscious...and the physical body reacts with panic and anxiety. Did you know our physical bodies respond in exactly the same way to a memory as they do to a current event? So if your mind recalls a time of great personal pain, your body will manifest the same symptoms as if you are living through it now.

Talk therapy is the only way to unravel those memories and experiences and deal with them in a safe environment.

D'you remember as a kid being asked to tidy your room and stuffing everything in the cupboard? Looks great until the cupboard door busts open under the strain and all the stuff comes tumbling out. This is how it is with our minds - things pushed away that are too painful to look at in the light of day and when you sleep that cupboard door in your brain gives way and chucks it all out. We wake up with a panic attack, severe anxiety or a sense of doom...and we don't remember why. Our bodies react to the thoughts being filtered as we sleep.

Talk therapy will help you sort through what's bothering you. Meds will suppress the symptoms to a point but you need to work through things that have happened.

I know these things are either unavailable or reduced to phone and online support right now but it would be worth talking to your doctor and seeing what could be set up for you. You're caught in a vicious cycle of feeling anxious and strung out - reacting to people with anger - then pushing peoasple away with that anger at a time when you most need them. It's really hard on you and the answer isn't going to be more pills - it's getting support to talk through the things in your head that disturb you.

In the meantime - try and focus on anything positive. You can train your mind just like a puppy by rewarding the good thoughts. Get a pad and pen out and write down the good things in a day...doesn't matter how small or simple. When you miss your family and the thought is: "I don't see my family" change that to "My family are safe and healthy, thank God". If your friend visits and can't stay long and the thought is "she could have sat with me longer" change that thought to "I've got someone who always remembers me and finds the time for me, no matter what."

If you get yourself into the habit of framing experiences in the most positive way, your body has nothing to react to. When we catastrophize events, we get anxiety. Your physical body does not know the difference between a family death or a problem paying a bill over the phone if your reaction is negative and emotional. We keep putting ourselves back in a state of panic and flight.

So - give it a try. Tell me the good stuff. Look for the good stuff. Write the good stuff down. If there's a moment when you feel calm and comfortable and you're listening to the radio and the sun is shining in the window, WALLOW in that moment and take in everything about it that makes you feel good. Your mind will soon learn to search for the nice things and these automatically become the first things you notice and the anxiety subsides.

Sending you so much love. You're not alone - you've got friends here and you're a strong-willed lady...just make that strength work for you. Big hug for now xxx
you know the good stuff for me is sitting in front out xmas tree watching the fireplace,listening to CHristmas music my mom baking smelled so good.Sometimes my older brother and I would go sliding at my moms friends house,wanna hear something funny well one time i was riding on my sled there is this wired fence well i couldnt stop my sled and i went underneath the wire and landed in the stream i was so wet my brother told me what to do roll around in the snow.He knew my mad would have gotten mad.I miss those days no anxieties or nothing i even invison myself down at the beach my favorite place fishing swimming or just taking a nice long on the beach fist thing in the morning it was so early I could see the sun rise.U know that the sun rising over the glass water it was absolutley beautiful i love the sunset and sunrise.U know sometimes i feel like i aint good for nothing ,my mom use to tell me i would never have any friends and that I was ugly.What kind of mom says that to her own children? How have you been doing lately?Are you ok?
 
EvyEv

EvyEv

Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Rockland County, NY
I am so very scared and anxious when i first wake up.I know I do have a lot on my mind but the anxieties seem to feel worse when i first wake up.Even when i dont have anything going on in my pbrain it still happens,this feeling of doom all the time awful I dont want to overdose on meds and I wont because I only take them when i need them,Still this constant worry and fear is driving me crazy.You would think after having this illness for over 40 years which is most of my life something would give I >Who knows maybe because I am old.Who knows everything seems to happen when u r old.It is tough having to live like this every single day.Ineed some sleep.I wish my head would just stop already with the negative thinking .However I dont know how to change it.I have tried but it seems like every single time I try to think positive it last for what about ten seconds.The negative thinking is why we all have anxieties .Talking here to such nice people helps .
i am exactly the same. I always wake up with anxiety. I can't seem to shut my brain of for just a few minutes. I'm always thinking the worse, i have anxiety forever now and i still don't know how to control it. Lately i have to take klonopin because its become unbearable. Glad someone here is like me feeling a little better and that im not crazy. Hope you feel better. :)
 
P

Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
1,665
Location
England. Derbyshire
I know exactly what you mean.
I wake up with a pounding heart, feelings of dread and a racing
head about anything and everything.
The feeling that another day is starting just makes me wish I could curl up
and sleep forever.

Sometimes I dread going to sleep because I know how bad I will feel when
I wake up.
 
C

Chiquita Banana

Member
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Tennessee
Morning is the worst for me too. I live alone and there's no friends or family around. In my fifties now and deal with this for months at a time, w long periods of feeling normal over these 25 yrs.
I also dread sleep at times because I know how I'll wake up.
 
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