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Why do I even self harm?

Louizard

Louizard

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 29, 2020
Messages
194
Location
Italy
I stopped in 2017, now I am (lightly, but still) back at it.
I'm already picturing my therapist asking "why?". I don't know.

Does there have to be a reason? I don't want to punish myself, I don't want it to be a fatal injury, I don't want it to be visible to others, I just feel like it's the only solution to my problem, does that make any sense?

Can somebody help me sort out these feelings?
 
S

sadsheep

Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2021
Messages
9
Location
United Kingdom
Hi,

I get what you mean. I SH as theory way of releasing the pain inside... it seams like the only thing that gives me any comfort. It's only recently that I've started talking about problems with my mental health and I'm really struggling with it. SH is like a way of dealing with it for me and sometimes it seams like nothing else will give me some peace from the thoughts I have.

But also, I use it as a way of dealing with my emotions. When I feel numb and empty, it's a way of feeling something

Here if you want to talk more. Sending love x
 
S

StillDepressed

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2021
Messages
799
Location
UK
I've always said it is because I want to feel something, because without I feel empty.

But actually @sadsheep makes a good point 'of releasing the pain inside' - my mental anguish sometimes doesn't feel real, but by turning it into physical pain I know it is real if that makes sense
 
O

Orangeade

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 23, 2021
Messages
1,686
Location
England
I stopped in 2017, now I am (lightly, but still) back at it.
I'm already picturing my therapist asking "why?". I don't know.

Does there have to be a reason? I don't want to punish myself, I don't want it to be a fatal injury, I don't want it to be visible to others, I just feel like it's the only solution to my problem, does that make any sense?

Can somebody help me sort out these feelings?
I’m sorry youve gone back to self harming. I dont think there needs to be a reason, its like an urge within yourself. I would be happy to talk with you. Sending you love x
 
Louizard

Louizard

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 29, 2020
Messages
194
Location
Italy
Hi,

I get what you mean. I SH as theory way of releasing the pain inside... it seams like the only thing that gives me any comfort. It's only recently that I've started talking about problems with my mental health and I'm really struggling with it. SH is like a way of dealing with it for me and sometimes it seams like nothing else will give me some peace from the thoughts I have.

But also, I use it as a way of dealing with my emotions. When I feel numb and empty, it's a way of feeling something

Here if you want to talk more. Sending love x
Both you and @StillDepressed totally understood me, releasing [the pain inside] was the word I was looking for, and it is true that by turning it into physical pain it becomes more manageable and visibile.
They explain why I can't find a concrete reason, since both explanations are still rooted in the mind-body pain connection. They are extremely similar in some ways.
I think I can word it better now starting from those, thank you- let's be strong together.
 
Louizard

Louizard

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 29, 2020
Messages
194
Location
Italy
I’m sorry youve gone back to self harming. I dont think there needs to be a reason, its like an urge within yourself. I would be happy to talk with you. Sending you love x
Thank you dearly for the support, if I'll need more help I'll know I can count on one more person
 
O

Orangeade

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 23, 2021
Messages
1,686
Location
England
Thank you dearly for the support, if I'll need more help I'll know I can count on one more person
Always! I wish you the best of luck with your recovery. I hope we have provided you with some answers and comfort :)
 

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