• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Why can't I?

D

downandout21

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Columbia, SC
Sometimes I feel very confident, but most days I feel like an embarrassment to myself and anyone with me. So I stay in the house all day. I don't even check the mail. I think my wife is planning to leave me, again. My neighbors never find me just standing in the front yard or on the porch. From the car I run straight inside. When I force myself to talk to someone I feel good sometimes. On the rare confident days(about 2 days a month) I love talking to strangers. It wasn't so noticeable when my wife and I were younger. I always had others around me, brother mainly, and a few friends. I'm older and I just stay indoors. I change shirts at least 5 times before going out(out to eat with the wife, or out with her generally, never alone). I really hate being alone. I think it's a burden on my wife.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,831
Sorry to hear of your struggles. I wonder if this is of any help. This guy had a really hard time of it, but managed to turn his life around (you'll find his life story amongst his many inspirational videos). Not everything he has to say will be relevant, but it would be interesting to know if some of what he has to say/offer is helpful to you... Hope this helps :)
 
soul searching

soul searching

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
447
Location
Clearwater, Florida
So sorry to hear that life has gotten so hard. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? Or taking any meds?
 
D

downandout21

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Columbia, SC
So sorry to hear that life has gotten so hard. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? Or taking any meds?
No, and no. Sounds like I should be? I was going to therapy. My wife left me for 90 days and during that time she insisted that I go. She(my wife) just kept saying "we need to heal." We went to about 4 or 5 different marriage counseling sessions(before the 90 day abandonment). Never more than 3 visits to any one location.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,831
I'm so sorry to hear that, how are things with you and your wife right now :hug:
 
D

downandout21

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Columbia, SC
I'm so sorry to hear that, how are things with you and your wife right now :hug:
She's home, but distant. No touching or sex(it's been about 1 year since we had sex). In bed we face the wall, sometimes a pillow between us.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,831
That's a crying shame, any idea why she's so distant :hug:
 
D

downandout21

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Columbia, SC
I don't know if it's me, my wife or us both that's going crazy. OCD guy, she thinks I'm too controlling, too messy, too clingy, etc.
 
D

downandout21

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Columbia, SC
When I met her she was the one that was too clingy for the first 20 years. We've been together for almost 30 years. We were teenagers when we started dating.
 
D

downandout21

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Columbia, SC
She gets upset very quickly and I have to be the one to stay calm in order to keep her from fighting. She'll break things and stand in my face yelling.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,831
I'm so sorry to hear that, have you spoken to your Doctor about things? :hug:
 
Top