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Why can't i talk about my problems?

C

chuckieegg

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
1
I dont know if this is the right forum to post in so sorry if ive got the wrong one.

Whats wrong with me whenever theres something wrong in my life i choose to ignore the problem and not talk about it like normal people do.
Everything that goes wrong i choose to bottle up and try and forget about it.
I feel now that because ive done this im suffering for it. Heres what my problems are:-

When i was 16 my parents split up, it was a huge shock because i know it sounds horible but it was like my dad had died because one day he was there part of my life and the next he had gone. I couldn't accept he had just walked out of my life, i couldn't face my friends because i couldn't admit telling them the truth and when i started college i told everyone my parents lived together. I've moved away now and noone ever asks me about my dad if they did i just dont know what i would say because i just find it difficult to talk about.

My brother keeps in touch with my dad which makes it hard for me, my brother has a good job and i know my dad is proud of him ive not got such a great job and i know im a disappointment to him.

I've been given a promotion in work and i know i should be proud of myself but instead i feel my past is coming back to haunt me. I keep thinking how can i be good at something when im such a huge disappointment to my dad someone who should be proud of me and be there to support me.

I dont feel im good enough for the promotion i dont feel i can cope with the stress the job brings, i feel i've had too much stress in my life already. I've coped with my mum having cancer when i was 18 and nursing her through that, now looking back i dont know how i coped because now i would be useless if that happened.

I just wish i could talk to someone but i just freeze up.

Why do i feel like this?
 
jackshepard

jackshepard

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
240
Location
Paris suburbs, France
Hi and welcome.
Don't worry, I felt the same for the past year. I've been dealing with the fact that my mom's madness is real and the fact that I always been lonely in my "lovelife". It made my 4 years long depression worsen and for the 1st time in my ife I began to skip classes at college. I have really good friends in my class and out of the college, but I can't bring myself to tell them how I feel. However, on some occasions, I'll lose it and tell them how my mom is crazy, nearly insulting her, sometimes crying in class. On tuesday, I finally told a friend I fell in love with a common friend of ours, but that she doesn't have the same feelings for me, which broke me down so many times.
I believe I don't want to depress them, so I keep all of that for myself 'til I feel suicidal and feel the need to post here.

Hang on, and don't hesitate to post here. It's really comfoting.
 
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