Imagine a jug of water with something impure in it. The whole jug becomes disturbed. Until that impure thing comes out the jug will be in pain. And if that pain isn't coming out it needs help. We are given signs when we need help. Pain is communication. Your brain is mostly water too and can't handle psychological impurities.
i feel the same way, theres always an inane urge or craving to do it but most of the time i just distract myself from the thoughts of it. although i know its an unhealthy coping mechanism and always comes back eventually when i have outbursts it helps for a time, even if just a little.