S
shell
Well-known member
started on the drugs yesterday only 250mg in the afternoon pains in my head and feeling sick. Took another one this morning and I have been in tears on and off plus feeling like I just want to go and end it all. My husband and me had a argument on a walk and that was it tears again he shouted and threw the dogs water bottle on the floor and stormed off to the car
I came bk and took a valium I just wanted to escape how I felt.
.I wish I could just pull myself out of this depression its the worst yet. My daughter came in to play with her friend and I had to ask if they would mind playing outside I just couldn't handle having her friend in the house, I felt really embarrased as well cos my eyes were red from crying. I hate the affect this is having on my family. My mother inlaw says I just need to try and pull myself out of it put a smile on my face I wish it was that simple, they keep saying as well smile and the world smiles with you cry and you cry alone, I feel like screaming when they say this. 
I just feel like giving up. On these shitty drugs that make me feel awful and always periods of depression whats the point . I feel like I'm wrecking everyones life around me. My husband deserves to be happy not stuck with this moody horrible screaming cow, my kids also deserve to have a good role model what kind of example am I to them???????????
Sorry for moaning on I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had a real shitty childhood my mum was an alcoholic and my dad had bipolar but died when I was 2 yrs old.
I was drinking loads when I was high a bottle of wine everyday. I haven't drunk since starting my drugs around 8 weeks ago am trying to do what the doctors say yet I still feel awful . I wish the doc would just give me an antidepressant Whats the point in giving me a mood stabalizer when I don't really suffer mania just depression. I tend to go in cycles of depression for about 5months and being a bit high for 4 months. I feel like all the stupid drugs are doing is stabilizing me in this shitty depression
I came bk and took a valium I just wanted to escape how I felt..I wish I could just pull myself out of this depression its the worst yet. My daughter came in to play with her friend and I had to ask if they would mind playing outside I just couldn't handle having her friend in the house, I felt really embarrased as well cos my eyes were red from crying. I hate the affect this is having on my family. My mother inlaw says I just need to try and pull myself out of it put a smile on my face I wish it was that simple, they keep saying as well smile and the world smiles with you cry and you cry alone, I feel like screaming when they say this
. I just feel like giving up. On these shitty drugs that make me feel awful and always periods of depression whats the point . I feel like I'm wrecking everyones life around me. My husband deserves to be happy not stuck with this moody horrible screaming cow, my kids also deserve to have a good role model what kind of example am I to them??????????? Sorry for moaning on I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had a real shitty childhood my mum was an alcoholic and my dad had bipolar but died when I was 2 yrs old.
I was drinking loads when I was high a bottle of wine everyday. I haven't drunk since starting my drugs around 8 weeks ago am trying to do what the doctors say yet I still feel awful . I wish the doc would just give me an antidepressant Whats the point in giving me a mood stabalizer when I don't really suffer mania just depression. I tend to go in cycles of depression for about 5months and being a bit high for 4 months. I feel like all the stupid drugs are doing is stabilizing me in this shitty depression 
. Just want to thank you for your replies 
it really helps. Hope your feeling better today. x