- Jun 26, 2014
- Avenue Q in the US
As hard as I try to move on from my only friend abandoning me shortly after my mom died, I just can't get over it. It just feels painful knowing that I did so many things for him and always kept my promise but he broke the only one he made to me. I try to move forward but I just can't. I do not know why I can't. I'm just so lonely now. I mean I know it's not normal to be afraid to make new friends but it terrifies me because I'm so afraid that any new friends I make will also end up hating me and abandoning me and I'll be alone even more. And the paranoia of letting people get to know me is made even worse by the fact that everyone that I talk to online or even meet will end up not liking me and just stop talking to me and acting like I don't exist. It happened again and now I think that maybe I wasn't meant to be happy or have good things happen to me and I should give up all together and just wait until I die a lonely death like I'm meant to have. What's the point of even trying if all i get is rejection and abandonment? There's no point to it at all and I should just quit.