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why can't I be normal

J

jiebee

New member
Joined
May 6, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Germany
Hi everyone!

I'm exhausted. After a long period of anorexia I started overeating since my body is craving soooo much food even if I'm not hungry. I hate myself after eating way too much but in that particular moment I just can't stop. Im so afraid of gaining weight after my binge attaks and I could really hurt myself when imagining being fat again. All I wanna be is someone and I'm only someone when im thin. Actually I have never really been thin but thinner than I used to be.

Im afraid food will always be the thing I think about most my whole life.
I wish I had the discipline to just start refusing food again but it's so hard I just can't even though I did it for such a long time. I hate myself so much for this thought and I know that the effects of all that can be devastating.
I'll simply never be normal. But I wanna be soooo bad. Achieving balance in nutrition and my whole life again would be so great. Is there anybody out there having a similar concern who might want to share some thoughts/possible solutions/hope?

btw: apologies for my limited English skills...
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
18,825
Location
Nowhere
hi jiebee :welcome:

please don't hate yourself that isn't going to help
being normal is not about being thin
its about being balanced

im also struggling with this
but I know that hating isn't going to help


:grouphug:🕯
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,196
Location
US
Hey, jiebee, and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you're struggling right now (btw, your English is fantastic). I hope someone can help w advice here, as I don't have eating issues but we do feel your pain and the feeling of wanting to be "normal"--a lot of us wish that. Have you looked into DBT therapy at all for this? I would think it could be helpful in breaking down the chain of events/thoughts that lead up to your binging as well as body image. Anyway, welcome, and I'm sure there are a lot of people on here (and off) who can relate.
 
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