Why am I so obsessive over things?

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BSMRB

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Hey everyone. Not sure if this is OCD related or not but this seemed like the most fitting forum to post this in.

I've begun to notice that I've always been obsessive over things, people, music, food, pretty much anything I found a huge interest in. I've been like this all my life. I've spoken to friends and family about it but they don't seem to understand me.

I will get overly obsessed with something, say, a type of food, I will eat that food and pretty much nothing but until I get sick of it and find something new. The same with music, I'll get obsessed with one song, overplaying it till I'm sick of it or even a certain singer/band, they become my life and its hard for me to listen to anything else. Certain people in my life I get obsessed with, wanting to be them, wanting to know everything about them, even sometimes acting/speaking/making similar facial expressions like they do and even down to copying their laugh. This is all unintentional too. I'm pretty sure that none of my mannerisms are my own and are just variants of several other peoples mannerisms. My laugh changes so much I don't even know what my real laugh sounds like.

There's so much more which I couldn't even begin to explain. All I know is I'm sick and tired of it.

I'm hoping anyone reading this understands what I mean.
The reason I'm posting here is because it's bothering me alot lately, I'm finding it hard to enjoy anything because I'm sick of it all due to the over-obsessions I have with everything. It stops me from enjoying anything new because I know I will be sick of it before long, It's hard for me to keep a hobby or even a career path because I over do it and overthink about it till I get sick of it completely and give up. I have no real interests because they're all obsessions that always ends in me giving up forever due to getting bored with it.
This has been like this since I was a child and has only gotten worse as I've gotten older.
Is my brain seriously broken?

I don't know if I'm explaining this very well. But I really hope that someone could relate in some sort of way and give me some advice maybe. I want to know what's causing this but it's taking so long to see a psychiatrist so I can talk about it. It's wearing me thin not being able to talk about it to anyone, I get embarrassed to speak about it because I know literally no one understands what this is like.

I honestly thank anyone who's read and understood this, I may sound really stupid, but this has really been bothering me alot lately.

Thanks xx
 
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Zoe1

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yes I do get that, I think for me it happens with isolation
or at least isolation makes it worse

I have weekly groups where I socialise face to face
and people I talk to on the phone,
actually I dont really do that enough
but just enough to get by and keep me afloat

you could ask the doctor about group therapy
or social occasions for people with MH issues
or you might prefer socialising with people who dont have MH Issues

thats my take on it anyway

:grouphug:
 
B

BSMRB

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Newport, Newport
yes I do get that, I think for me it happens with isolation
or at least isolation makes it worse

I have weekly groups where I socialise face to face
and people I talk to on the phone,
actually I dont really do that enough
but just enough to get by and keep me afloat

you could ask the doctor about group therapy
or social occasions for people with MH issues
or you might prefer socialising with people who dont have MH Issues

thats my take on it anyway

:grouphug:
I'm glad to hear I'm not alone on this. Though I feel I socialise alot, I have bad anxiety and social anxiety so it's a little harder for me.
I've been offered group therapy before I've just been too nervous to get into it
But if you find it helpful I will try to give it a shot and see if it helps in any way.

Thankyou for replying:)
 
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Zoe1

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:welcome: yes I found group therapy really fun actually
and I still go to that

there should be an anxiety group nearby
where other people will also be feeling shy

:)
 
S

Sarabi_Gyarados

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Obsessions are usually just a pattern. It might be not being able to moderate your likes and dislikes so they seem intense and obsessive. It could be linked to black and white thinking (i.e. if I like this I MUST LOVE IT, so it must be at one end of the spectrum.) There is a way to heal from obsessions into healthy liking so your awareness is a huge step in getting there. 🌹
 
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indigo6

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Is this you distracting yourself? I just answered your state of world post. Is it that obsessive behaviours are to keep the mind busy or focused when other things are going on.
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

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Posting on here definitely helps me yes. I feel if I can help someone else I can help me too. It just feels good to reply to posts on here.
 
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indigo6

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I mean you have alot of external worldy stuff on your mind and so maybe focusing deeply on a thing like a song, a person etc sort of takes your mind off these other issues?

Yes it really does help to share and help other on here x
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

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Oh I see what you mean....yes, I think it does. Stops me thinking about all the 'big' stuff. A distraction yes.
 
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indigo6

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Kinda been the same u see ;)
 
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JasonR28

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It could be a sign of Asperger's if there are other symptoms as well. I'm someone with Asperger's (undiagnosed but it's nearly certain).

I've had a lot of obsessions in the same way. Like the other year it was fireworks. I had a phase of it where I was buying countless fireworks. I mean £100's worth, over the space of 6 months. I would watch firework videos nearly every day and regularly I would take them out of the box, look at all the packaging. It was a massive obsession. Suddenly, perhaps even overnight that just fizzled out and all interest in it was lost. Now I've got boxes of fireworks stored away which are likely never to be used.

It's been the same for so much else over the years, golf, tennis, computer games.

People typically have multiple hobbies at the same time they pursue where they enjoy each of those things at different times and don't get obsessed. It's very hard to not get obsessed about 1 thing though where your life is all about that one thing until that just suddenly fizzles out
 
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Turnitoffandonagain

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I can identify with that, even if it's not quite the same (the details are different, but I kind of only have two speeds - obsessive and perfectionist or almost completely unmotivated, and I go mad sometimes with mentally trying to put things in order, I can get stuck ruminating for hours trying to find a mental resting-place).

I think for me it's growing up in a stressful environment where chaos always seemed just round the corner, and with having parents who were obsessive in their own ways (slightly different for each of them). I think that's why I've always, as far back as I can remember, been prone to be obsessive about order and perfection. It's a question of 'control' I think. Perhaps a need for 'control' in a chaotic environment is common to everyone who has this? I don't know, I can't speak for others.
Perhaps the same kind of outcome can be caused by different underlying mechanisms?

It becomes monomanaical for me, because one can only be truly perfectionist about one thing at a time, trying to balance multiple things is mentally too exhausting and even conceptually impossible (time and effort spent on one thing is time and effort not being spent on the other, ergo neither thing is being done as perfectly as it could be).

It's one of the things I disliked about CBT. CBT seems to imagine such 'irrational' behaviour is driven by some sort of line of faulty code in your programming, that can be simply rewritten. I don't believe it works like that, it's not an explicit 'belief' its a matter of how you are biologically-wired, how your pain and reward mechanisms work.

I _know_ my perfectionism and obsessiveness has bad effects, I've always known it, since I was a small child. But that doesn't mean I can change it. If I don't think that way then there's nothing else there to replace it. I do it because not doing it is unbearable.
 
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Turnitoffandonagain

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It could be a sign of Asperger's if there are other symptoms as well. I'm someone with Asperger's (undiagnosed but it's nearly certain).

I've had a lot of obsessions in the same way. Like the other year it was fireworks. I had a phase of it where I was buying countless fireworks. I mean £100's worth, over the space of 6 months. I would watch firework videos nearly every day and regularly I would take them out of the box, look at all the packaging. It was a massive obsession. Suddenly, perhaps even overnight that just fizzled out and all interest in it was lost. Now I've got boxes of fireworks stored away which are likely never to be used.

It's been the same for so much else over the years, golf, tennis, computer games.

People typically have multiple hobbies at the same time they pursue where they enjoy each of those things at different times and don't get obsessed. It's very hard to not get obsessed about 1 thing though where your life is all about that one thing until that just suddenly fizzles out
I've gone from obession-to-obsession most of my life. Some were healthier than others, though. Being obsessed with work at least bought in an income! Being obsessed with physical fitness got me a lot healthier than being obsessed with tinkering with computers!
 
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Turnitoffandonagain

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Somehow, though, I never seem to have much control over what I get obsessed with. And then my physical health always gets in the way (e.g. it destroyed that obsession with exercise and fitness).
 
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BSMRB

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:welcome: yes I found group therapy really fun actually
and I still go to that

there should be an anxiety group nearby
where other people will also be feeling shy

:)
Thats great, I'm glad you enjoy it!
And i will look out for that - thankyou:)
 
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