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Why am I so childish?

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Dreamer00

New member
Joined
Jan 11, 2022
Messages
4
Location
Helsinki, Finland
Hi, I'm new here! So I've been obsessively looking for some kind of answer related to my mental health symptoms and now I found this forum (I can also practice my English as I'm not native speaker). My extent of worry can also be due to my OCD but anyway I have a problem.

So as a kid I was pretty normal but shy boy until me and my friend became bullied at school when we were 13. That's when I started to become more and more reserved around people and developed social anxiety and some OCD symptoms. Sure there were some other reasons and negative experiences before that as well but the ultimate downhill started at 13. From 16 y/o to 20 y/o I was pretty much isolated from everyone except that friend who was also bullied, my little brother (almost 8 years younger) and my mom.

How did I spend my time then, you ask? Pretty much what you can expect, playing computer games, reading comics etc. "lonely" things BUT also a huge part of my life was (and still is in some extent) very childishness activities. I'm 21 now but like two years ago my friend and I had that habit to make our own "humor magazines" filled with our weird humour, secret language we invented when we were like 11, comics etc. but only for our own entertainment - basically that was just the same we did as a kid expect that it lasted in our late teen years. There are other examples also, like make-believes with my little brother (and I was many times the more eager one to play these).

Yeah, and I don't know is it just my OCD or something else like some regression or my loneliness but I also feel ashamed of my current and past childishness. Like what would people think if they only knew, because I really have bad experiences about being ridiculed by others (although I understand my fears are often exaggerated + quite same with my OCD symptoms, I'm ashamed of them too). However, this child-like behavioir doesn’t prevent me from doing more "mature" things, since I have for example moved out from my parents and started studies in new city half a year ago and it also feels like my social anxiety is getting better little by little.

Hopefully I can get a little more perspective on my problem now :D
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
8,119
Location
Canada
Welcome to the forum. Sounds like harmless fun, these "childish" things you mention. If no harm is being done and you enjoy doing these things, there's no problem. It's good to have things you enjoy doing.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
42,282
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi ,welcome
im very childish too ,especially emotionally
in a way i like it
if you are ok with it ,i would say it is not a problem if you would like to change
i would get some counselling
Lu x
 
Lone_wanderer

Lone_wanderer

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
6,618
Hey mate,

I have shot smack and smoked crack, done drugs and hung with thugs. I am in my fifties now and I still like SF, comic books and dungeons and dragons.
 
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Dreamer00

New member
Joined
Jan 11, 2022
Messages
4
Location
Helsinki, Finland
Thanks for all the replies @jajingna @Fairy Lucretia @Lone_wanderer !

I just feel the pressure to be somehow more mature because society seems to favor those who have achieved a lot at a young age. And as a social human being I also want to be as others but on the other hand I was rejected by my peers... So I think I kind of decided to forget how society expects me to behave. And now I'm getting extremely anxious about that decision I made and want to be less childish.
 
RapblasterMaster

RapblasterMaster

Was Slowturtle
Joined
Sep 29, 2021
Messages
1,534
Location
England
some of us will never grow up, possibly until we have kids or are lumbered with big responsibilities.
Dont let society make you uncomfortable with who you are.
Life is to played and to make experience, its supposed to be fun
 
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Dreamer00

New member
Joined
Jan 11, 2022
Messages
4
Location
Helsinki, Finland
@RapblasterMaster
Yeah, but it's easier said than done when there is low self-esteem and social anxiety telling me how abnormal and flawed I am. So maybe this "I'm so childish" thing is just my low self-esteem/anxiety trying to come up with excuses to not interact with others?
 
RapblasterMaster

RapblasterMaster

Was Slowturtle
Joined
Sep 29, 2021
Messages
1,534
Location
England
@Dreamer00
Its always easier said then done. I find it easy to tell people to fuck off if they look down on me. Whats so great about being mature anyway? As long as you are happy. If you are unhappy with yourself then that can be a good thing because its the first step to making positive changes. But do it for you, not to appease anyone else.
Responsibility is about doing what you need to do for your family, your loved ones and yourself
 
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Dreamer00

New member
Joined
Jan 11, 2022
Messages
4
Location
Helsinki, Finland
It's quite fifty-fifty, I want to use my time less on things I've done since childhood so I can have time to new things but am also overly sensitive for others opinions and because of that want to hide my childish traits as much as possible.
I know this doesn't sound healthy either but social pressure has been strong recently. But I try to keep fighting!
 
NoNameRequired

NoNameRequired

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Joined
Jul 18, 2021
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1,975
Location
Mordor
I would rather be a happy childish adult that the miserable man-child I actually am. If you like it then do it dude, you are not harming anyone. Of course there is a limit, but I have come to the conclusion that you never stop liking some things from your childhood, so don't feel ashamed of being in touch with your inner child. So as long you don't dress up like Buzz Lightyear to go to the store, I think you are okay.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Feb 27, 2020
Messages
9,156
Location
Nashua NH
I agree with others here. So long as you are on a normal developmental track (ie study moving out) how you choose to spend your recreational time is up to you. If it is all you are doing with your time you might want to switch things up a little but beyond that, no worries. xo, j
 
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