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Why am I relapsing!!!!???

K

Kdkins44

New member
Joined
Jul 22, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Truckee, ca
Hi, I haven’t posted on a forum in a long time... I have been in “recovery” for 5 years, but only fully for a year and a half and the last year and a half has been amazing! I never thought I could feel normal or eat without fear, worry, or the madness that had taken over my mind for so long. I truly thought that all of this was behind me and that feeling was honestly amazing. So why I am posting in this forum? I don’t know? I do not know why I am ruining my life again. I just don’t understand it!!??? I have been restricting again for two weeks and I rationally cannot discern what I am doing to myself and my loved ones and yet once again I cannot seem to pull myself out of this?!! I don’t get where this is coming from! I’m angry at myself while at the same time proud that I ate too little in a day and overjoyed at the feeling of my stomach eating itself. Rationally I know exactly what I am doing and I keep trying to think of all the reasons I was so happy to be rid of this and yet none of it seems to make any difference in my actions. I don’t want to have to admit this is real and put everyone I love back through the process of therapies and treatment. I guess I’m just half ranting and also wanting to know if anyone has any support, suggestions, or similar experiences...
 
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Luci

Luci

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2019
Messages
508
Location
England
Do you know what had triggered this relapse? Might be a start? Do you feel you have lost control over a different aspect of your life?
 
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