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Why am I like this...



New member
Jan 26, 2015
I've been through the mental health system my whole life basically. My first diagnosis, my first therapist, and my first medication all came to me around the age of 5. Since it started I haven't been off of them. I've been on all sorts of different medications. I was even a test subject in a schizophrenia study.
And then people act like the meds make me who I am and that it can cure whatever bad emotion I feel. "Take your meds your being a bitch." Is one of the many things I have heard from someone. It doesn't freaking work like that. Just because I have a mental diagnosis and am on a series of medications doesn't mean I don't have the right to feel angry and stand up for myself.
I still feel natural human emotion no matter if I've taken my meds or not.
So I've been not taking my medication for the past couple of months. I don't want to have to take meds to be a functioning part of society. I don't want to rely on meds to make me feel OK. I just... Want to be...
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2014
Hi and welcome to the forum.

I know what you mean regarding the medication and emotions. Once diagnosed it's as though your every thought or action is being scrutinised and questioned. 'Have you been taking your tablets?!' is a sentence that I've heard many more times than I care to remember.

I'm a bit concerned for you though if you've quit your meds completely. Did you slowly reduce them or just stopped suddenly? Some of the withdrawal effects can be pretty nasty.

I hope you're okay.


Well-known member
Aug 17, 2012
The West Country
Welcome to the forum.

Gosh, 5 is so so young to be given medication. I didn't even think that was allowed, but I suppose things change.

It must be really tough for you spending your whole life as someone given labels and being in 'treatment' - it's like you haven't had time to just be you or find out who you are without being analysed.

I do agree with Purple Chaos with regards to your medication. If you've stopped suddenly it doesn't do you much good and there's a chance you'll have a relapse and feel pretty rotten.
But I totally understand your feeling of wanting to be a functioning part of society.

Have the meds helped you at all? I'm just wondering if you've had enough of taking them or if it's more of a certain stigma attached to taking them that's influenced your decision to stop.